This Little Life Of Mine – The Line
Monday, 5th March 2018.
07.56
considering it’s Monday, I don’t feel particularly pissed off or ill. Just back to the usual feeling of pointless existence and unknowing what to do to entertain myself. I’ll just crack on with the day and see what happens.
09.24
Apparently our ladders aren’t big enough. It’s weird, because they have been big enough for the last 2 months? Oh well. I’ll go and have a fag then, and wait for it all to blow over.
12.40
I really don’t know how long I can endure the tedium. You can tell how boring it is from the shit that comes out of my mouth. I think “The Bouch” is bored too. Either that or he’s humouring me.
Tuesday, 6th March 2018.
07.36
Another day merges into the one before. Boredom beyond belief. Sick of everything. Nothing to be sick of. Pointless, endless monotony. Again…..
08.12
I feel like battering myself to death. A quick look at the housing website confirms what I, really, already know.
OFFERED TO ANOTHER APPLICANT
Chuck me a Fucking lifeline. Any-fucking-thing!
Wednesday, 7th March 2018
21.36
Time is just slipping by. Without meaning of consequence. Hours, minutes, days, seconds all seem the same. Endless routine and a growing habit plague my life. The pain had become the norm and without it I feel empty. Hoping for a life line seems futile again. Resignation to the line.
Break. Please break before my eyes. Let me see it happen so I can care again.
Thursday, 8th March 2018.
08.37
That’s the back of the week broken. This will definitely be my last super drug binge weekend for a while. A deal has been made.
20.49
One last weekend(for now!). One last blow out. I know I say that a lot,but I’m a fiend. One of the mutants. One of the chosen few, who will not feel a moment of pain until the dice is rolled. Found in a gutter. Covered in urine and shit and vomit, but inanely smiling. Knowing I’d found my purpose. It takes people like me, like my beautiful friend Kai, to fuck with the statistics. Remind the world that you’re all Fucking sheep. We are the reminder that you don’t have to be.
Ignore the cancer.
Ignore the endless warnings.
Live how you want to.
Live the life of everything you ever wanted.
Until the end.