Last week, Melissa Howard, a Florida (of course) GOP candidate for their State House, came under suspicion that her diploma she had posed with, showing she graduated from Miami University of Oxford, Ohio, was fake.
And the fake wasn't even a good one. The first problem that started people digging was that the university said that not only did Howard never receive a degree from them, the degree she claimed to have earned did not exist at their school. Furthermore, the diploma she was posing with wasn't even a good copy of their official diploma.
After some initial push back, claiming that those claiming she was a fake were only spreading "Fake News", Howard finally came clean on Monday, releasing the following statement:
“I would like to apologize to my family and my supporters for this situation. It was not my intent to deceive or mislead anyone. I made a mistake in saying that I completed my degree. What I did was wrong and set a bad example for someone seeking public service. I am staying in the race and intend to win and lead by example from now on.”
That's right, campers. Melissa is determined to not quit her fight for Truth, Justice and the American Way and will stay in the race to be an elected government servant. Beyond that, she wants everyone to forgive her of any wrong doing because she never meant to deceive when she lied about her education, printed out a phony diploma, posed with it in official campaign materials and then called the true stories about her lies, "Fake News". It was all just an innocent and simple mistake anyone could have made, y'all.
I've been wearing out the phrase "you couldn't write this stuff", but I can't think of a better way to say it. America's reality has become the most ridiculous sitcom that was never written... because to write something this stooooopid would require suspension of all credulity, intelligence and reason. Nevertheless, here we are.
Gawed bless Murika.