The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next. - Ursula K. Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness, via Austin Kleon
Tomorrow is The Game. The Biggest Game Of My Life (except for that other one) ... and yet, you probably don't give a fuck. Why do I give so many fucks?
I've written about it before — football is not the vapid soap opera non-fans see. It makes me and my manly heartless emotionally stunted bros feel things. In unison. It's beautiful, really.
There's this feeling that I want to know if we're going to win. I want what I've been looking forward to for years to be over.
What if you could tell me the result?
What if life was certain?
It wouldn't be life. This isn't corny bullshit. It's logical. Think about it.
You want to succeed. What if you knew the exact details of your dream job, and all of your inevitable successes?
You want to find love. What if you knew exactly where and how, and how every perfect day elapsed?
I went to a Modern Art exhibit today. There was a piece that edited soccer clips to make it look like Mexico had beaten Brazil, 17-0. It was hilarious.
... but what if life was actually like that? What if you got everything you wanted, and you knew exactly how it would happen?
I'm not asking that rhetorically. Meditate on it. For some minutes. Real minutes. Would you want that?
I sure as fuck wouldn't.
Like, that quote is too real. Without permanent, intolerable uncertainty, life wouldn't be life.
And yet, of course, that's so hard to accept.