Women are raped almost on a daily basis. From Asia, across Africa, to Central America, there are no exceptions to the humiliations that women are subjected to in the hands of their rapists. Even though in recent times, there have been reported cases of men being the victims of rape, this write up is focused on the more rampant cases of which women are usually the victims.
Unfortunately in most parts of the world especially in Africa, cases of rape are not usually reported to the appropriate authorities for the obvious reason of not wanting to be stigmatized or ridiculed by society. Most times, rather than condemn perpetrators, women end up getting all the blames and criticisms.
That's not all there is to this sad tale that rape victims are subjected to by society. Most often than not, rapists are always quick to justify their actions with statements such as: "She came unto me and I couldn't hold back. She asked for it with her flirty attitude." Such ridiculous utterances brings us to the question at hand. Why would any sane man force a woman to be with him? Before I answer this question, I would like to state the following facts:
- A man can control his sexual urge if he chooses to. It's only a matter of discipline.
- Rapists are just a bunch of sadists and low self esteemed brutes who see rape as the only way to subdue a woman.
- A rapist only picks on physically weak women as their main target, and even if a woman walks the street naked, the chance of her getting rape is slim if she is physically a match for her intending rapist.
With the above established facts, it is now clear that men rape women just to rub it in their faces that they are physically stronger and are at liberty to use their physical strengths to their advantage.
Invariably, this means that so long as we have men living among women, then rape is inevitable. So the focal question is: What strategy should a woman adopt when she finds herself face to face with her intending rapist?
Staying calm and doing her best to manipulate her intending rapist could be the key to evading being raped. This sounds a bit crazy as no one woman would want to stay calm at such a dangerous moment. But wait a minute! Over 90% of all rape victims usually put up the fight of their lives, but they always end up getting raped anyways. Why? Because in terms of physical strength, they are never a match for their attackers. So it's only logical that rather than use her physical strength, a woman should think of a more calm and subtle approach that she can use to subdue her attacker.
A story was once told of a woman who was about to be raped by a man. As he grabbed and pinned her down, she didn't resist or try to fight him off. Instead she whispered to the guy that she loved his smell and went ahead to initiate a kiss. Shocked by her actions, the guy slowed down a bit and the romancing started. In this space of time, she got the guy to trust her and as the guy let his guard down, she attacked him and eventually got away. When asked how she managed to pull that off, her response was: "I knew my strength was no match for him and trying to fight him would have made him more determined to have his way. So I decided to try out the two weapons I had which he was lacking; gentility and calmness.This move may seem a bit off, but a few kiss with a rapist hurts less than getting impregnated by him.
Another story was told about a girl whwhispered to her rapist that she was HIV positive. This outburst made the guy reconsider his actions and he had to let go of her.
The point I'm trying to establish is this, in life, the more we try to evade our challenges, the bigger it gets. Rapists are like our life's challenges, the more you try to resist them, the more determined they get and will do anything to have their way. This is why some cases of rape have led to the accidental deaths of victims because such people probably fought in vain and in the process, their attackers had to use force. So in my opinion, the best approach to handling a rapist is by staying calm during the preliminary moments and thinking fast.
But what if a woman has more than one attacker?
Gang rape has become an almost daily occurrence in different parts of the world especially in India. Gang rape is the worst kind of rape as it is usually almost difficult to evade the gang of attackers. But there are things you can do to give you an edge and even buy you some time. The truth is, no one ever anticipates a rape talk less of a gang rape. But in life, it is best to expect anything and always be prepared for the worst.
It is not about being pessimistic, it's just a simple case of living. With that being said a woman when faced with many attackers could try out one of the following:
1.Pretend to pass out before your attackers
When surrounded by many attackers,the first thing they're going to do is probably charge at you and threaten you with a weapon. You could fake loosing consciousness by slumping. This move may prove to be dangerous and it isn't for the faint-hearted.
There are lots of things that could go wrong and two possibilities are likely in this scenario. It is either your attackers pounce on you regardless of your state, or they decide to walk away. In a worst case scenario,if your attackers are also murderers, they may decide to end your life. but they can hardly get through with this without coming to an agreement. So it's really up to you to keep your ears open so you can hear every word that is being said around you. What you hear them say will determine your next course of action. But the most important thing is, you have to be smart about your moves or you may get burned.
2.Try to manipulate your first attacker
In every gang rape, there is always a first attacker who is likely the leader of the gang. If you can gain the trust of this first attacker, then you may be saving yourself from the other molesters. You can achieve this by using your best charm on him. You could even try to offer him money, use great words with him, or you could flash him your most beautiful smile that is capable of melting any heart.
Sometime ago a story was told of how a gang of robbers raided an apartment and when they were about to gang rape one of the occupants, she was saved by the leader of the gang. He would later confess after the gang was apprehended that her stares melted his heart. Call it destiny or luck, but the honest fact is most times, our actions or reactions could be the determining factor in the way things eventually play out.
There is a whole lot than women can do to handle rapist and it is best for every woman to play out a mental defense in case they are taken unawares by a low life. Whenever a woman steps out of her apartment, she should always be prepared for the worst as the world isn't safe anymore. A woman should ask herself this question: What can I do to subdue a rapist if I am attacked?" Your pepper spray may not be enough as your attacker already knows about this and may find a way to snatch it from you.
Always have an ace up your sleeve and use it to manipulate your attacker. Remember this, your attacker may have animalistic tendencies, but they're still humans and are capable of slipping or making a mistake if you play your cards right. #mayibtalks
