It's honestly like my life is a messed up movie, as if someone's forgotten to edit out all the bad parts. I wanted this week to be better, I wanted to feel a little happier but unfortunately, life had other plans.
I've slept with a psychopath. I really believe there's something not quite right with this guy. So here's the story...
I met this guy at a house party a few months ago. I was very drunk and he took advantage of that. I remember sleeping in his bed and him saying 'I get to have sex with you because you're in my bed' and at the time, I didn't see anything wrong with that (I was drunk after all). He was high on so many different types of drugs as well as alcohol. We had sex and then I passed out... I can only remember snippets of what happened next. I woke up to him being inside of me but I kept going in and out of consciousness. I don't know how long he went for but when I woke up again this time I was lying on my stomach and he was behind me. I remember asking him to stop, I remember telling him I needed the toilet but he didn't listen until he decided it was over. It's a hard subject to openly talk about but it does help. Although you may feel sorry for me, I really don't want your sympathy because I did something really stupid. I saw him again.
I've been really lonely recently and feel like I don't have anyone to turn to. He messaged me and then came over to my place. One thing lead to another and we had sex. It was different because I was sober but he didn't do anything I didn't want him to do. He was actually really nice so I invited him over again a few days later. He seemed really interested in me but when he was about to leave he got a text. I was a little drunk and took a quick look at the text. It was from his roommate who has been in a longterm relationship for 5 years. The text read something like:
Hey, I'm really struggling tonight.. are you able to come home soon and comfort me?
Okay. I know this girl and her boyfriend so I obviously found it a bit suspicious. I questioned the guy about it and in my drunken state I said if he was cheating with this girl then he's a 'bad cookie.' I don't like cheaters, I don't believe there's any excuse for cheating. So after he left I didn't really feel like talking to him. He text me and I replied but made it obvious I wasn't interested. He said she was just a friend and nothing was going on. I told him that it was none of my business and I don't want anything to do with it.
You should all know that I'm pretty depressed at the moment. I mean I went back to a guy who practically sexually assaulted me a few months ago, I'm not in the best place. So I told this guy that I didn't want to see him for a while and that I just need a break from everybody. I thought he took it well until I woke up this morning.
I had a message from a random girl telling me that 'X & Y are having sex and Y is cheating on her boyfriend.' I'm not sure about you guys but I found this so weird! I messaged my friend and asked her if she knew anything about this as she lives with these people. My friend was as confused as I was and asked her boyfriend if he knew anything. Nobody knew anything and the weird thing was that whoever was doing this decided to message me. My friend confronted the guy that I had been sleeping with (her roommate) and he straight away accused me. He said I was doing it to 'fu*k' with him and to 'get back' at him. Obviously, I was insanely confused at this point as I had ended things with this guy only the night before and all of a sudden this happens. Long story short, they all think I had something to do with because this guy got into their heads. I'm not even on Facebook myself at the moment and I have no reason to do something like this. I 100% believe the guy I'd been sleeping with is the one who did it just to turn my friends against me. It's childish and something I don't need right now so I've completely removed myself from the situation. Sometimes that's just what you've got to do.
Other than that my weekend has been OK. I'll write another post to update you all soon as I got some not great news this week.
Until next time,
Meliss