You are the reason you are what you are.
I’ve been wanting to write this down for a while now, but I could never find the right context and backstory. But yesterday, I had a chat with a childhood friend who’s been going through a rough period, and something clicked. The story of both our lives is the perfect representation of this post that has been lingering around in my head for almost a week.
We’ve been friends for over 20 years. Growing up in a small, boring suburb about 15km from Brussels, we spent our days skateboarding, listening to our Walkmans (remember those?), and enjoying the green delight of sweet Mary Jane. When we got older, we rapidly descended into a life of alcohol, weed, and more mind-altering chemicals. The underground electronic music scene in Europe provided a fantastic outlet for our lifestyle. Most of us were unemployed, living off parents, governments, or welfare. It was the time of the millennium bug, the Bush administration, and mad cow disease. Europe was not in turmoil yet, and my young, naïve mind still felt like it could take on the world.
I spent about 6-7 years of my life partying and popping pills like there was no tomorrow. The music scene we were in was dominated by squatter parties and anarchists. Now I use the term anarchist very loosely here because most of them were leeching off the government, the very thing they wanted to destroy! I, too, didn’t agree with the society that was laid out before us. Becoming a slave to the system just didn’t feel like something we could do. Both of us refused to live under a government that tells you what to do, in a democracy that is a sham, with biased media breeding fear and conflict in people’s mind.
This is where we made different decisions. My friend went the nihilistic way and started squatting as well. I decided to use the system to get ahead, and then move out of Belgium to a country where life is simpler and less regulated. He decided to abuse the system, claim benefits, and try to live a cheap life in Belgium. He ended up as a heroin user and is just now, ten years later, climbing out of a deep hole of substance abuse and depression.
So why am I telling you this story?
Because it perfectly explains the difference in mindset we had at that time, and how it can literally change not just your world, but the entire world.
I’m talking about responsibility and accountability. These two big and cumbersome words boil down to a very simple concept:
You are responsible for all your conscious AND unintentional actions, thoughts, and behavior. Acknowledge that you are responsible for your life. The things you feel, your thoughts, and the choices you make are all under your control. You determine where your life goes. Be accountable for your actions.
My friend saw no way out of the system. He blamed the system for his situation. He took responsibility as a way of choosing ‘NO’. And he was right, you should not do what the society or people around you require you to do if it is against your vision and goals. I admire his decision since it shows a mindset of living in the here and now, instead of in the future or the past. My decision was born out of a mindset of reaching a goal. I had a vision in my mind and was working my way towards it, and it included selling my soul to the corporate world for five years.
By avoiding responsibility, you'll end up settling for the life you have instead of aiming to get the life you truly want.
Here’s my 3-step plan for owning up to your actions and decisions. And if that sounds too self-help guru-ish for you, don’t worry. It’s ridiculously easy!
1. Know yourself
This is the main reason my friend and I chose different paths when we found ourselves on the crossroads of adulthood. If you don’t know what you want, or why you want something, it becomes hard to accept your decisions and actions. What is your goal in life? What do you want to achieve? Having a clear definition of the person you want to be will empower you to make the right decisions and focus on what is important.
This is a double-edged sword, though. If you see yourself as a heroin junkie, chances are high you won’t be quitting anytime soon. If you have low self-esteem and confidence, this technique can work against you!
2. Stop making excuses
I used to make excuses for everything. Nothing was ever my fault! This stopped me from me following my dreams in my early years. And more recently it stagnated my business growth. I was making excuses so I didn’t have to accept mistakes I made in the past. It took me a while to realize this. Every person is directly responsible for their happiness, success, and failure. This was an intimidating realization, though. But, once I accepted my responsibility, it became a lot easier to accept mistakes.
3. Stop blaming others
Blaming someone else is always an easy way out of any situation. But, when you blame others for your failures you create the impression that you are incapable of changing the situation. Blaming others strips you of the power of being responsible. On the other hand, when you take responsibility, you identify and accept that something went wrong, and you can rectify it. Even when another person screws up, remember that blaming them will not solve the problem. Instead, try to think what you could do to prevent the same thing from happening again in the future.
That’s it. Adopting these 3 simple mindset hacks can make a significant impact in your life. Let’s take it a hypothetical step further. Imagine if every single person on this globe adopts this responsibility mindset. Would we still need a government telling us what to do? Since everyone has certain beliefs, taking responsibility would mean standing up for those beliefs. Do you want to eradicate poverty? Go straight ahead! Don’t say the state will take care of the poor, but take action yourself. Do we need a change in global consciousness to initiate a revolution? Yes. Is this likely to happen? No …
Governments all across the world are trying to stamp this global responsibility into the ground. They want obedient, tax-paying minions that make excuses and blame others. And what better way to do this than to make the underlings dependent on the state. They want you to put the blame for their situation with others, that’s how they keep you in the system. Politicians are the first to point fingers and lay blame to someone else. If you are against the state and their policies, the only responsible and rational thing you can do is to get out.
Respect for Dan, Ned, and the rest of the team for what they are trying to do. It’s a perfect example of the point I’m attempting to make. There’s a big difference in wanting to change the world and actually doing it, regardless if it will succeed or not. They took responsibility and created Steemit as a way to change the world’s financial system. I’ve seen numerous authors gathering here who shares the same sentiments I’m putting forward. Maybe it’s the start of a revolution. Maybe it’s not. But at least it’s a try, a chance for a different world, an idea made into reality. And that’s reason enough for me to keep supporting it.
Steem on, my friends. Steem on!
Menta
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