Let us talk about ourselves. Surely we have done a lot of mistakes from our past and surely many of those still left a big impact to our lives in the present. Yes we do have a control over our emotions but they just creep well into our system that we cannot easily get out of the trauma of our mistakes. And that leads to regrets.
Yes we know that mistakes make us better. From our learning, it pushed us to be strong. But into what extent will that make us strong anyway? Can we really be strong enough to forget what we regretted? Bad decisions? How could we think of it as a blessing in disguise? We secretly hope that it is really a blessing in disguise. Because we try to believe that everything happens for a reason. And everything will fall into place the way it is meant to be.
I know how tough that journey is. You are not alone. In summary of my life, from my childhood days people had a lot of expectation from my academic life because I am always a recipient of honors. Being on top 10 gives me the opportunity to study in universities beacuse of a scholarship and that brought me to finish high school given the expensive school fees. And then here goes college, I was self complacent and thought I could push through it like I did when I was in high school but I was wrong I actually failed 3 of my scholarships and had to transfer university.
That was a big pause in my life. I could just reminisce how hard it was to confess to my parents my failure. And was a little relieved when they did not react badly, but not happy either. That was still an endless pain and honestly in the present I am still coping from that and I have treated it as my fuel to graduate and hopefully someday turn the tides and favor them to me. I say to myself I will make my parents happy.
Or so I thought. Throughout time, we cannot promise to make our parents happy every day although we hope we can. Some things just stumble out of place. And here comes another regret. A regret of not doing enough as a daughter or a son. Because we thought of being responsible for their happiness for the reason that we have already caused them too much pain from our past failure. We blame ourselves constantly until they are happy again.
You see. These are just few reasons of why we burden ourselves with too much pressure and stress from all our doing. Because of so many regrets, we overthink our mistakes that we often forget what we do right.
Do not look down on yourself. Be confident that you are enough. Free yourself from your own judgement. And most importantly, forgive yourself so that you can focus on working for the better tomorrow and leaving the past mistakes as they are in the past. Move forward and do not ever get stuck in the memory of a bad yesterday. And love yourself as you love making your parents happy. 🙂
Let us all ponder on that and be happy!