How's going Steemians?
Finally i got back from long distance work trip and able to post something cool :)
Let's talk about well-known cliche topic that everybody knows, but not everyone is realizing the power of habits.
So Let's break down it :)
Old habits die hard, I guess... if you don't kick 'em, they kick you.
Porter from Payback(1999)
- In early childhood we begin to understand, even if unconsciously, that each problem has its own key. If you cry, then you are given either a slap or a candy - the third is not given. A model of attitudes toward the world begins to be built up, which is closely related to the environment in which we grow. The school develops this business even more. Take, for example, the same joker from the class who was familiar to everyone - in each school there is one. He played
The role of the clown, but not because he liked it, but because it was convenient - the society took his antics out, and the hooligans did not touch. At the institute, we already have other habits that can be tied in the absence of money or a decent personal life - no matter what. The problem is that many of these habits, patterns of behavior that accumulate for life, disgustingly affect your present and future.
- Just get it, you can't be that clown guy in the class when you take adult commitments. You can't be a aching child, who will shut up only when he is given a candy, if you are going to deal with serious people from a large company. Perhaps, in the institute you were so popular for female eyes that I got attention from girls automatically, because they liked you externally. But, friend, today you are thirty, and more mature women, your appearance is not impressive, but they are impressed by the absolute inability to talk with friends. You seem ridiculous and ridiculous to him, and that's because you did not get rid of the false sense of superiority instilled in a rusty model of behavior that has long refused to work for you.
The habit of suffering, of woes is so great for some people that their minds refuse to
admit the possibility of a different, brighter future.
Challenges
- The biggest difficulty in dealing with this devilishly common problem is not that you do not have the means to change the circumstances of your life, but to understand that circumstances can not be changed at the expense of the outside world. They can be changed only at the expense of the inner world. And this means a long and hard work on yourself. Above the models of perception of reality, over the tools that we use to work with this reality. Unfortunately, old habits can grab hold of your throat. They will seem comfortable and familiar, like an old, worn out jacket, which should be thrown away for a long time, but you do not dare to do it. To these habits and patterns of behavior you will be very careful. They will seem to you the norm of life. Moreover, your closest people can act in their defense. Why? Because they are accustomed to them - it's easier for them to know you the way you were, than to test fate and experiment. Patterns of childhood, adolescence and adolescence can spoil your existence until death. Honestly, no one is interested in making you really change in this regard. No one, but yourself.
- So in this fight you are alone with yourself. But you do not need to be afraid - many of them passed through this. Your primary task is to understand that the habits that keep you at the tail of the train are not important. They are the atavisms of your life, should be disposed of. Once again: if any strategy does not work or does harm, then give it up - you will not lose yourself if you do it. On the contrary, you will get the opportunity to go through a personal evolution - to rise a step higher.
8 LIMITATIONS ON THE WAY TO CHANGE
We all want to be better and even try to take some kind of action so that "wanting" becomes a reality. However, over and over again we are confronted with a certain stone wall, which does not allow us to move forward. This stone wall needs to be destroyed, but you can do it only when you understand what is stopping you.
1 . You motivate yourself with negative emotions
- It is believed that regret, shame, fear, guilt at long distances stimulate change. For example, you are ashamed that you are fat, which means that it is because of this shame that you are doing exercises. But this is a terrible fuel for life, which practically does not work. The most effective strategies for any change are based on positive emotions, not negative ones.
2 . You are trapped in delusions
- Probably, that you are in captivity of public distortions of information, which are perceived by your mind as a norm. All this seriously affects personal life, career, even hobbies. For example, you might think that in the US there is no point of doing social media marketing agency because there a so many people doing that and you think that you can't compete with them. These are the limits and excuses that stand in your way. But distortions of information do not allow to understand this. The same goes for any activity that seems too exotic for your region. Or another example: you think that it's too bad for this girl. But let me ask you: "What makes you think that something is bad, even if you have not tried to meet?"
3 . You want to achieve all at once
- No, It is Immpossible. Any change is a long enough process, which requires control of behavior, certain actions, certain decisions. There are too few cases when everything can be changed in one second. You will have to be patient, so that something will work out for you. And, of course, it's better to start with small things. For example, if you want to start an active lifestyle, then do not think about many kilometers of marathons - try to get into the habit of walking home from work. Seriously, every day, get back from work on foot. This is a concrete and realistic proposal. Live this way for a month, and then sign in the hall or start running around in the morning
4 . You ignore the need of tools and guides.
- Look, if you want to fix a refrigerator, it's important for you not only to know how to do it, but also to have the tools that will help you do it. If you want to start painting, then you need canvas and paint. If you want to nail the housekeeper to the wall, then you need a hammer and nails. You can not do this with your bare hands, that's why people can not finish what they started or even start - they simply do not have the necessary tools.
5 . You want to change too many things in short time
- No one is capable of doing everything. No F*cking one. Even the head of the strongest state of the world is powerless in his desires, and if you find a person who claims the opposite, then tell him that he has gone mad. Not all things can be changed, but you can always change what concerns our life. Of course, if you have lost your legs in the war, then you are unlikely to be able to grow new legs, but you can always install cybernetic prostheses - there would be money and desire.
6 . You underestimate the complexity of the process
- Another mistake is that you think you can change some detail of your problem - and you'll immediately get the whole solution, but it's not. Change is a process that can consist of a dozen components. For example, you want to change your financial situation. Getting a new job is the right decision, but to get a job, you will have to take a number of actions (write a resume, post a resume, make a portfolio, call up employers, perform a test task, and so on). Even if you do this, it's not a fact that the new job will give you a significant increase in money. It is possible that in parallel you should engage in your business project or private practice.
7 . You forget that failure is part of a change
- If you try to change anything, then you must be ready for failure, failure, failure. If you drop your hands immediately, as soon as something like this happens, you will never achieve what you want. You can not use failure as an excuse for defeat. Failure is a component of victory, because failures are also learned.
8 . You do not take obligations
When you try to change, then you assume obligations, and these obligations must be fully implemented. For example, you want to lose weight, which means that you undertake not to eat harmful food. If you do not fulfill what you promised, you will never lose weight. With changes of another kind, things are exactly the same.
Habit Formation Process in 3 steps (absolutely cool guide to understand)
A cue is an often subconscious trigger that starts the main process — almost like pressing “play” on a button. Everything starts with the cue.
If you have a habit of over-snacking while you watch television, turning on the TV is most likely a cue that starts the snacking process.
The routine is the habit in action. You’ve sat down at the couch after a hard day at work, and you turn on the TV. The cue has been activated, and now the snacking routine begins.
But remember, you over-snack….which means that something must be encouraging that mindless eating — even if you don’t realize it.
That’s where the reward comes into play. A reward reinforces a routine and solidifies the habit.
So where’s the reward in your over-snacking scenario? Let’s walk through it.
You get home, kick off your shoes and turn on the TV. That’s the cue.
You immediately start snacking. That’s the routine.
You have a great time watching your favorite shows, perhaps even sharing some laughs with loved ones. That’s the reward.
Dopamine fires to the brain, embedding the habit even further.
By tying the physical action of eating to the emotional feeling of happiness, you’ve solidified your routine with a reward.
Who wouldn’t want to eat AND feel happy? As you can see, sometimes our deeply embedded routines aren’t healthy or productive. How do we overcome these challenges and circumvent our own psychology?
One simple way would be to keep the cue (television) and the reward (good times with loved ones) and replace only the routine.
So in an alternate scenario, you’d still come home, flop down on the couch and turn on the TV. But this time, instead of shoveling down ice cream as your snack of choice, you’d replace it with frozen berries.
The frozen berries would not only satisfy some of the tactile sensation that you’re looking for — but over time, you’d begin to associate this new snack food with the feelings of happiness and contentment.
The habit would reset itself with a new, healthier routine.
FINAL SCORE
You: 1
Reptile Brain: 0
Conclusion
Education is based on the principle of habit formation. Repetition makes learning easy. Learning a language i.e. speaking, reading and wring is based on habit. Similarly education helps in the development of good habits like punctuality, attention, concentration, cooperation, discipline etc. But make sure that you are educating yourself and not only using common knowledge!
As there are good habits, there are had habits too. We acquire them both from our friends and from the society in which we live. Smoking, drinking alcohol, drugging, speaking untruth, teasing the weak, committing acts of theft may all be considered as bad habits. Habits are easy to acquire but difficult to give up. They have a great hold on people and are not easily broken. So it is better not to acquire a bad habit than try to give it up later.
Good habits lead to good manners. Good manners give us good friends; good friends mean good environment; good environment leads to a happy and peaceful life.
Main Source
Wood, W., Quinn, J.M., & Kashy, D. (2002). Habits in everyday life: Thought, emotion, and action. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83, 1281–1297.
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