Unfortunately, almost every girl has a story about an uncomfortable situation they've had to deal with at some point in their lives: sexual harassment. Over the last few decades, people are increasingly more aware of the fact that these things do happen. Girls, women all over the world have to overcome those unfair, unjustified, gross attitudes or actions directed directly towards them.
In light of recent events, with all these women raising their voices, proving their braveness and accusing Director James Toback of sexual harassment, I thought it is only fitting to share other women’s experiences, as well as my own. Maybe some people will find this sharing exercise useless. However, I firmly believe that society should be aware of the issue at hand. Plus, sharing these stories will make other women feel supported and understood. I am certain anyone that has gone through a gruesome situation, like the ones I will be describing up next, needs to hear they are not the only ones that have suffered. That is why I believe the phrase “me too” is truly meaningful, powerful and empowering.
‘THE GIRL WITH THE LOWER BACK TATTOO’
Amy Shumer shares her first sexual encounter as a traumatic experience that made her very wary of men. Why? Well, she describes all that was going through her head at the time regarding sex: being a virgin, experimenting with her boyfriend, talking about sex with him, being curious... All those are perfectly normal, even healthy approaches towards sex and towards relationships.
However, one night she falls asleep while watching a TV program with her boyfriend. Suddenly, she wakes up to find her boyfriend having sex with her without her consent. She has later on admitted she didn’t share this story, that she felt guilty and alone and betrayed... This is why it has become more and more important to share these stories. You shouldn’t feel at fault after being raped.
Society can’t make you feel guilty of a crime you did not commit. In fact, Amy criticises the idea of ‘the perfect rape’ because that’s precisely how society will turn the situation around and make you look bad. For instance, she was watching TV, she doze off... How can she be guilty of being raped? Well, as Amy shares in her book, there are many people that would and have actually accused her after hearing her story of being a ‘slut’. This proves society still needs the reminder that these situations can’t happen. We shouldn’t let these crimes go unnoticed and we definitely should say something. Just by admitting that you too have been a victim of sexual harassment or sexual assault makes other women feel less alone and gives them the courage to raise their voices too.
2-CATCALLING
This is an uncomfortable situation I’ve had to deal with but I am 100% sure I am not the only one. It’s degrading to have to listen to a comment of a sexual nature, or to be walking down the street and see a group of men or an old man leering at you.
In my case, I suddenly feel exposed, violated and angered. I don’t think that the people that argue this is not so bad fully understand what we feel when this happens. I don’t think an old man has commented on the length of their skirt and how they were ‘looking for trouble’. I don’t think they have been told ‘what a great body they have’ while receiving the most dirty look possible. If they did, they would know. They would understand that commenting on other people’s appearance is not okay. Plus, do you think a woman actually cares what you think of her body? We are not ‘asking for it’, we don’t want your opinion, we are walking down the street and we deserve better than that. We deserve to feel safe and we don’t need to go through a degrading situation every single time we dress up. Or even when we don’t.
Some people will insist that cat calling is not so bad. They will argue that it’s flirting or that why should women be rude if they tell us we are beautiful. Well, I said it before and I will say it again... Did we ask for your opinion? I don’t think so and I can’t shake the feeling that some girl out there won’t feel safe even if you are truly just trying to compliment her. I’m not saying women aren’t strong, I’m just saying we don’t need to ‘act like it is okay to be called beautiful if we are walking down the street’. Maybe it isn’t.
I would like to end on a positive note and show you what a group of amazing people did towards cat calling behaviour in their neighbourhood. I think if people react more, if people speak up often... Little by little we will teach society a lesson. Hope you enjoy this video.