I'm not going to tell you this whole year was bad. My life has been shaped by the furnace's heat. Any other way and the stiffness of my own heart would cause me to break. The fire softens me up and makes me painfully aware of what I lack and Who my real source is. Indeed, it's a painful process that needs not to be if it weren't for my hardheadedness! Yah, In His faithfulness, will force us to move and make decisions that we wont make for ourselves otherwise.
For the past few years we have been deciding how best to sell our home and move closer to a less grid reliant piece of property. We have been calling our place Double E Blessed Homestead and Bee Farm. We have been systematically unplugging appliances and trying to simplify our needs. The washer and dryer left the house and the big power hungry A.C. unit was pulled from the window. Our dream has been to purchase some acreage up in the Arkansas Ozarks and reconnect with each other and our creator! OH THE PLANS WE HAD!!! BIG plans too! We spent time walking Ozark properties and searching online for affordable plots! I just didn't have a great peace about how all this was going to be accomplished though! I like to know the end from the beginning right!?
"And delight yourself in Yahovah, and let Him give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4
Often misquoted by the prosperity gospel crowd. Where this has spoken to me is the place I let HIM give and fulfill His desires for me. I delight in His process and yield to His methods. Often times, in His mercy, he has to move me out of the way to accomplish this!
In March of this year, I was stricken with a lung infection that threatened to take my life. My lungs had to be drained and then scraped out so that my body and copious amounts of antibiotics could fight off the infection. I had several weeks in the I.C.U. to listen and contemplate where my life was headed.
Along this path, I lost my source of income. My job was stable and afforded me ample time with my family, holiday pay, health insurance, security, 4 day workweek, 40 hour pay for 25 hour workweeks, and no pressing need to rely on Yah for much. I did consider the job a provision from Yah but the faith level on a day to day basis just didn't "cut the mustard"!
excerpt from the book "Evangelpreneur" by Josh Tolley
During this time and months after, family and friends from all over the country gave to my family so that we could pay bills and take care of our responsibilities at home. Most of these people I didn't even know! My pride had to die as I completely relied on Yah and those being His hands and feet to provide for us!
What a great example of baring each others burdens this is! I was increasingly encouraged by well wishes, prayers, scriptures, and donations coming through the YouCaring page! Local friends and family were also a blessing by making needed repairs around the house and providing somethings that we just couldn't afford.
Faith! It's one thing to say you have it but a totally different thing to actually practice it. What a painful experience that has brought such peace and greater faith in my family's life! We still have a ways to go with our faith walk but we are committed to the narrow path!
......and just when we thought it was all over....To Be Continued....