You're probably a pretty secure woman. You know you're strong and worthwhile, but sometimes your partner may say something that just makes you want to hide. It's not just you ā there are certain things men say that can make even the most confident woman feel bad about herself. I went to the experts to find out what those things are. Guys, listen up: these are the things you're saying that are making your partner feel insecure.
ā Wow, that girl is so hot
It baffles my mind that some men think it's okay to ogle other women in front of their partners, and it probably surprises you as well. When a man talks about the attractiveness of other women, it's a sure way to make you doubt yourself.
ā You've gained some weight
Unfortunately, many women harbor deep insecurities about their weight. Comments about your weight and body can trigger those insecurities and leave you feeling embarrassed about your appearance.
ā Don't get hysterical
Do you wear your emotions on your sleeve? I know I do. But when men make negative comments about how you express your feelings, it can activate your insecurities and make you feel like shutting down.
Heller told me, "Women who are assertive often carry the onus of being a hysteric or a shrew. When a man makes this comment, he may be condescendingly implying that a woman is out of control. Hence, a woman may doubt the validity of her own authority and question if in fact she comes across as abrasive and tyrannical."
However, she added that if a man is comfortable with a woman's power, he's open and able to debate with one who is also passionate and assertive.
ā Are you on the rag?
How do you feel when someone asks you if you have your period? It's a rude way of saying that you're acting irrational or overly emotional, and it probably either makes you feel annoyed or insecure. As Heller noted, menstruation is already bad enough without all of our anger being attributed to our raging hormones instead of valid emotions.
"When a man arbitrarily throws out this comment whenever a woman is moody or annoyed, it sends the message that only a biochemical imbalance could explain her irrationality," she explained. "It shuts down any opportunity to dialogue about what may be ailing his girlfriend or spouse and creates a wall of resentment."
