Key Points
The GGC is real!!!
I put myself in great danger in writing this article
In this article I am skipping all the pretense of my usual articles. Today, I am here to write about an extremely serious topic. I write this article fully aware of the potential danger to myself, my family, even my dogs. Regardless, I have chosen to reveal this vast conspiracy which effects everyone on the planet. I make no excuses for what I am about to write in this article, I must let you know of the danger you all are in. I am fully aware of the danger and consequences that come with exposing this real life conspiracy.
What could put the world into such peril? Democrats? Republicans? Socialists? The Illuminati? Aliens? Another Austin Powers film? Another Back Street Boys reunion tour without JT? NO
Two words endanger us all: SOCK GNOMES
For those of you not aware of the vial history of the Great Gnome Conspiracy (GGC) and the plague upon our society which Gnomes have bestowed upon mankind, it all started with the Gnomes taking over our gardens, flower beds, grand mother's homes, and neighborhoods. People around the world simply ignored these benign Gnomes residing (Squatting) on our lawns. Meanwhile, the Gnomes plotted in silence, growing and selling marijuana to fund their illegal ventures.
(Actual Picture of a Gnome Marijuana Dispensary)
Then things got worse. The Gnomes started to insist on vacationing without us. They offered no monetary incentive or rational, they simply stowed away (often insisting on traveling first class) and then sent postcards letting us know what a great time they were having.
(Picture of Gnome having a good time on vacation without you)
Annoying commercials from Travelocity would soon take over the television, yet people still ignored them.
Annoying Travelocity Gnome
But now the Great Gnome Conspiracy has grown going full epidemic to include Sock Gnomes. These outrageous Sock Gnomes have invaded our homes and resort to crimes so heinous, so unspeakable, so daring... The Sock Gnomes have come to steal individual socks across the planet.
(Sock Gnome Caught Rifling Through The Dryer)
(Sock Gnome stealing individual socks NONE OF THEM MATCH!!!)
The pictures attached are REAL!!! Just taking these pictures could cost me my life as Gnomes are known to carry out their furtive business in secret. These Gnomes operate in the dark, stealing socks from laundry bins, hampers, washing machines, and dryers across the world. It's a conspiracy of epic proportions, the Sock Gnomes often hide in plain sight and steal one sock from a pair. Some have tried to stop the Sock Gnomes, clipping socks together before doing their wash. These efforts to date have been in vain.
(Sock Gnome Hiding in Plain Sight!)
The World has been warned. If you refuse to believe these pictures, just think about the number of times you know you put both pairs of socks in the laundry or wash. How often is there always a single sock left over with no pair that is lonely when you are done. You can recheck the washing machine or dryer all you want...It's not there!!!
Months or even years later you may find these socks in places they couldn't have possibly traveled, in your bed, under your bed, inside your car and even to your place of work. The Sock Gnomes love to torment. Next time you think you are just being paranoid, and you continue to ignore the pitter-patter of little feet in your home. Just know the Sock Gnomes are coming for your one sock!
Author's Note:
This article is meant to be humor. It is not meant to depict any real life Gnomes living or dead. It is not meant to disparage any race of Gnomes, including the Jiggalo Gnomes who do or do not have sex with any socks they steal. No Gnomes were hurt or injured during the making of this article. You can follow me on Twitter @TheMoonknight77 where I mainly follow NWBO, send prayers for cancer patients, hate on Gnomes and post Steemit articles on topics which I enjoy. Yes I am NWBO Long and a share holder. (Every now and then it's okay to jest. I hope you got a good laugh)