It is hard to see that - enabler - and know that it is truth in my life.
What do I mean by that, Steemians?
I give permission for people to run over me, to use me as their workhorse, to fix other people’s problems for them, to do the uncomfortable stuff while they kick back and enjoy life.
For example, last night, when I was supposed to be working on my dreams and goals...I was sitting in front of my husband’s laptop, looking up computer programming assignments for his college students to do and working on comprehensive study guides for his classes’ final exams happening after Thanksgiving holiday. Now, he was home all day long, but what was he doing?
- He was answering the phone, working with creditors who were calling him looking for payment.
- He cleaned our shower for me.
- He took a nap.
- He went to the gym to workout.
- He watched multiple videos on Facebook.
Then when I came in from a busy day at the office and was preparing to create for my business, he gave me a list of his things to get done and complained that he was WAY too busy to do his own work. 🤔
I felt down about it, but since I did not want for him to get in trouble (he actually did a few weeks ago when I didn’t do anything for him and he didn’t do anything either), I reluctantly went upstairs after coming home and worked until about 11:30pm.
Yes, that was about 4.5 hours of my time.
Yes, he was happy that it was done.
But I was absolutely miserable.
The next day, I let him know how I felt, and he told me that I should be proud that I have the type of work ethic that I do to get things done.
Ummm...not the encouragement I am looking for, dude.
What I said to him next just solidified my misery...because I said nothing.
I didn’t fight for me and my rights. I didn’t force him to own up to his own responsibilities. I didn’t yell at him about the stuff he was doing to procrastinate from the real work.
I said NOTHING.
Why is it that I didn’t force my husband to get things done, and I go and create for my business like I originally planned?
Because I enable him to kick back and not take ownership.
I’ve got to find a way through this enabling crap. I will definitely be searching for counseling or something to help with this because I am tired. This evening I spent on the couch with my many ideas and fleshed our a few things that I will be offering down the line. Where is he? At the gym with friends.
He will be back to see what I have done for him, and will be “pleasantly surprised” when nothing has been done for him....