A father is the breadwinner of the family. He wakes up for work while the rest of the family are still fast asleep and comes back late at night when they must have gone to bed. All this he does to put food on the table for his family. Then why do the children get to shower him little or no love at all? The answer to this question may vary according to individual perspective.
As the child grows up, it gets emotionally connected to the one who is always around- the mother. Children tend to forget someone whom they don’t always see, or at worst, feel insecure with his/her presence. Does this explain the under-appreciation of fathers? Not entirely. Another point of view to this issue is the African mothers. You may ask what the mother has got to do with this, well, it’s quite simple: the African mother has a way of presenting the father in a non-pleasant way to the children. Let’s take this scenario as a case study : the children of John, who is away at work, come back from school and tell their mother they need money to buy the items needed for their forthcoming practicals in school. The mother tell God will provide, as it is the way of Africans. Later in the night, when the father has arrived from work tired and exhausted, she tells him, while in bed, about the need of the children and the husband provides as it is his responsibility. The mother then gives the children what they need and never tells them where the money came from. With this, the children feel safe confiding in their mother for their financial needs because they believe she is the one providing for them.
Fathers have a lot of work to do in registering their presence in their respective families. It is never enough to be there financially, the children need more of love and support. The mother also has a crucial role to play in helping the child appreciate the father. She needs to explain to the child why the father cannot always be around and make it understand that it cares. The father, on the other hand, should try to build a subtle relationship with the children and not to be too dictational and fierce with the children in order not to scare them away. As a father, make your children know you love them, take them out on vacations, pay attention to them, and most essentially, keep contact with them when you’re around and when you’re not. The child needs you to be at your best, dad!