Starting anew. A concept so familiar to third culture kids and their families, as they adapt and try to blend in with their new host society.
As any kid in a new school or new neighbourhood will tell you, adapting to new circumstances and getting it right in the first week makes the difference between becoming the new, hip kid on the block, or one to be shunned, or worse, bullied.
You take your past, check out the new parameters, and re-frame your story to fit the new reality, choosing a funny, slightly tragic slant. The sweet underdog.
You take those curious looks and meet them with a defiant, unflinching stare. You resist the temptation to be the first to break the ice, and respond with a cool, detached greeting when approached. The ice princess.
You bounce into midst of your new environment, full of energy with a touch of mischief. You take charge, and grinning from ear to ear, sweep everyone along with your sheer enthusiasm. The life of the party.
There are so many ways we can choose to be when we first approach a new environment. That’s the thing about new places, new schools, new jobs. Nobody knows you.
Sure, the facts are there on your CV and the obvious physical aspects of you, but the way you present those facts is entirely dependent on how you, and only you, choose to present them.
Make no mistake, it is a choice.
I remember being at an event once, and someone asked me where I was from. On a whim, I said Brazil.
The truth is, I’m not even from the same continent as Brazil, but for a couple of hours, I inhabited the persona of a Brazilian.
To be honest, all I really knew about Brazil is the wild carnival and awesome football national team.
The funny thing is no one questioned it. Everyone at that event just assumed I was, in fact, from Brazil and responded to the “Brazilian” persona I was projecting. It was great.
I don’t recommend fibbing about where you’re from, especially when your physical traits are a bit of a give-away (then you just come across as pathetic). I do, however, recommend trying this re-invention thing.
There’s infinite freedom being someone else for a little while, just to try on how it feels.
Dress in a way you usually don’t and go somewhere you never do. Take a vacation from your world and become Brazilian for an afternoon.
If you’re the suited-and-booted neutral colours corporate type, wear a multi-coloured kaftan and go to an art gallery.
Drive to a nearby city, and pretend you’re scouting for video shoot locations for your favourite band. Wear dark glasses.
Yes, far fetched (unless my readers suddenly include famous artists with a pechant for kaftans …). But still, just for a moment, admit it, you had gone off somewhere in your head, picking out which persona you could check out on quiet Saturday afternoon. Or perhaps you were choosing the persona to be at your job interview next week, or how it might be fun to greet your spouse in a completely different way at the end of day tomorrow …
Madonna has made a career out of re-invention, and Lady Gaga’s daily dress-up keeps millions of fans guessing. You don’t have to be a famous pop star or a kid to play dress-up, to re-invent yourself, see the world with a different set of eyes, and be seen in a different light.
Who knows, it might even re-define how you think about yourself and the world around you. And kaftans.