Hi! Welcome.
(FYI, there are tons of pictures on this post, I just didn't share them until the second half of the post.)
If you've read my previous posts, you probably already know I moved to the Kansas City metro area at the end of July after living in Texas all my life. If you've never read my posts, now you know almost everything you need to know about me!
I was able to experience something yesterday in Kansas City that was my absolute favorite thing in Texas...
That was Scarborough Faire, an annual Renaissance Faire.
Yesterday, my husband (well, he's basically my husband), our daughter, and I went to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival in Bonner Springs, Kansas.
I figure if you're still reading, you fall into one of three categories:
You're thinking, "Why the hell do you love the Ren Faire so much? It's nothing but white trash." (I get that a lot.)
You share my love for this kind of thing and you're happy to come across someone who loves it so much.
You've never been to a Renaissance festival or maybe you have but you're not in love with the theme as much as I am.
I'll address the three categories as we go.
Having gone to Scarborough Faire almost every year of my life up until this year, I had no idea what to expect from Kansas City. I'd never been to another Ren festival.
While I had an amazing time, and while I took beautiful photos, the faire was not as great as Scarborough.
There are several reasons I feel this way, but to keep you from reading all day, I'll narrow it down to a few reasons:
NOBODY working the festival spoke with an accent. You've got to think, there are stage performers, street performers, musical groups, individual characters for photos, vendors, concession stand workers, and so on...and nobody spoke with an accent.
For an event that's supposed to be what I assume is based in the 15th century - not sure what century since this is a new faire for me - performers especially should be speaking with an accent... (also because the King and Queen are English, hello.)
Customers pay a $20 entrance fee and they want to feel like they're in another world!
Once performers finish their act, they accept tips. From there, people go on to shop, eat, and then watch other performers before tipping them, too.
There's a lot of money going around at these places, so the staff who is in character whether it be a pirate, a mermaid, a queen, a blacksmith, a wizard, or a gypsy...should sound believable.
There's something else that really bugged me; my husband bought a ring from a vendor, and within an hour his finger was green.
I know this doesn't sound absurd to someone who's unfamiliar with these events... but that's a problem.
Back when I was in better health and had free time, I made all kinds of handmade jewelry with the intention of selling it all at the Renaissance festival.
There's a long process vendors have to go through in order to be accepted to rent a booth:
First, they have to pay literally hundreds of dollars upfront to reserve/rent their space.
Then, they have to submit great quality photos of each and every one of their items to be sold.
Additionally, plenty of paperwork must be completed where you have to write exactly what you are selling in addition to explaining how you make your items; you also must promise not to sell any item not listed.
From there, the images of your work have to be reviewed by a team of people who decide if what you have is a good fit for their festival and at that point you will either receive an approval or you won't.
The staff also checks your shop out periodically to ensure that your items are as described and that there's nothing suspicious going on.
With all that being said, a lot goes into this kind of thing - at least in Texas that was the case. I'm simply shocked that such a vendor was actually able to rent and maintain a booth there.
The art at these events is so intricate... so immaculate, breathtaking, and eccentric.
People don't go there to buy shitty state fair merchandise.
Everyone expects that when you purchase something at an event like this, it will be well worth every penny...so that's where my frustration comes from regarding my husband's green finger.
I'll gripe about one last thing and then I'll get to the happy parts...
John had to pee, so we went to an area that was sectioned off and had a line of porta-potties.
As soon as we approached this area, we could very clearly hear a woman screaming at the top of her lungs. I thought someone had gotten into an altercation, but it turned out to be one idiot and not two.
According to the woman who was making a scene, someone defacated on the toilet seat and she sat in it. Whether that's true, I don't know. I don't care.
What I do care about is her behavior following the incident. I understand freaking out if something like that happens, but she ran out of the bathroom with her pants AND panties around her ankles.
Her shirt wasn't very long, so everyone could see the bottom of her vagina.
Meanwhile she's hollering "OH FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I'M OUT OF FUCKING TOILET PAPER! SOMEONE GET ME SOME FUCKING TOILET PAPER! FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!" She's also laughing hysterically at her own behavior at this point and I was standing there with my two year old waiting for John to finish using the bathroom.
Security came up, witnessed her behavior, cracked a joke about not wanting to deal with it, and walked away. (Are you kidding me? There's no excuse for that.)
We left the area to go buy food and I'm being truthful when I say 10 minutes later we could still hear the word "fuck" being screamed while we were waiting for a turkey leg.
I don't care what happened to that lady - if you're still screaming at the top of your lungs that long after the event, you just want attention.
I did not need to see her vagina and neither did my two year old.
Well, I feel better after getting that off my chest! So let's get to the happy part! (Sorry for ranting - I hope it wasn't too much.)
Here's a selfie from the car ride to the festival. (Everyone looks better in a selfie - I will prove that to be true later in this post when you see me from far away!)
And then you know I had to take one with glasses, too:
I'm always in awe of the uniqueness of the art at Ren faires and the KCRF was no exception.
The beautiful necklace below was precious and had a real rose on it. Somehow the rose was hard as rock and very sturdy. Unfortunately I was in no position to pay $88 for a necklace, but I made sure to photograph its beauty to share with others.
Crescent moons are one of my favorites so I was extra in love with it...
This next photo was taken in the Enchanted Forest. There were paintings everywhere to be seen, each of them too beautiful to choose a favorite.
I also have a thing for water and waterfalls. I love to see reflections in water and I think the reflection here is so gorgeous...
These next few photos are of an incense burner. I have never seen one like it and each item this shop had for sale was breathtaking, even if it's not everyone's style. The woman who crafted these pieces was astonishingly talented.
Here are some photos of my cuties in front of a painting of young Belle from Beauty and the Beast:
Our sweetie also had a blast feeding a goat. I am surprised she got so close...
And then a wizard joined...
This lovely dragon had smoke/steam coming out of its mouth.
And then here's me looking chunky but still kind of cute:
(Remember what I said about selfies?)
So anyway, people who've never been to a faire often make remarks about it being full of "white trash".
While the porta-potty woman clearly fits into that category, I'm saddened to think people don't realize how much talent is behind these festivals.
Most of the actors have some kind of degree in theater or writing and perform all over the world.
Most of the vendors have one of a kind artisan work that will blow your mind...
Not to mention the fact that it's not cheap to attend and purchase merchandise at these festivals, so I'd think that fact alone would show people it's not some "white trash" festival... trust me, if it were that trashy, vendors wouldn't be making up to $3,000 on one sale alone.
As I've said before, I would be honored to sell my work at a Ren faire one day and I genuinely hope my time comes. My family and I had a spectacular time despite the few things that bothered me.
I love this theme/time period. I love the clothes, the language, and the questions it brings about what life was really like however many years ago.
I strongly encourage anyone who has never been to a faire to go to one in your area. Some of my favorite travelling acts to look out for are Arthur Greenleaf Holmes (also known as The Inappropriate Poet), and Don Juan & Miguel. I also love any and all bellydancing.
I hope you enjoyed this post and I would love to learn your thoughts on Renaissance festivals.
Thank you very much for reading!