A week has almost past by since I have arrived at a farm-like property. My entire life I have lived in a city. I grew up in the city. Went to kindergarten and school there. Started my job in a city. Well, really, all I ever lived in long term is a city. You may think that going to a farm-like environment will be quite a different experience, wouldn’t you? Indeed it was for me and still continues to be.
I have faced lots of challenges during this first week being here. Now challenges aren’t something bad. In fact, these challenges allowed me to expand my worldview and take in a lot more of life's spectrum. Lifes spectrum here would mean the different life styles and ways people live and which exist in this world, other than only the ones I am used to. In my case it would be only being used to city life.
Internal Decision and External Action
I have pushed myself internally and externally to go to lengths and do things I would have never conceived myself to do.
Internally pushing myself would be: Allowing myself to not hold onto beliefs, ideas and opinions, as well as feelings, emotions and experiences I have created or have towards something or someone. Instead drop those, let them go unconditionally and push myself to challenge my ideas, beliefs and experiences or relationship towards something or someone. Embrace new experiences and things in life. Make that as a decision within myself.
Externally pushing myself would be where I take the decision I have made and live it practically in my reality. In my context or story it would, for example, be where I just allow me to dig my hands into the soil with lots of worms in it and scoop it up, having, yes, worms on my hands. So to just do it. Just do it meaning to just go for living the decision I made internally. Don’t postpone the execution of my internal decision.
The longer I entertain my thoughts, the less likely I will act on my decision
What I have discovered and realized, which helps me in the execution and living of my internal decision is to not even entertain my thoughts or inner chitchat in my head. As soon as I allow myself to go there; to entertain my thoughts and inner chitchat in my mind with all the ideas and beliefs I have formed towards the earth, animals, dirt, dust, fur, smells, animals, bugs and most of nature - I would already start generating emotional energy. For example a feeling of yuckiness and fear of bugs and touching them or them crawling on me. Or a feeling of disgust and unwillingness to touch horse poop, worms or continue drinking my coffee after I found a hair or two from some cat or dog’s fur. The solution is and was simply, for me, to ground myself to my common sense. Meaning, that the solution to those things of resistance towards doing things I haven’t ever done and which haven’t been part of my life and living were simple: For example, if I find a hair or two of pet fur in my coffee - well, just pick it out, remove it and then I can continue drinking my coffee. Or, scooping up soil with worms in it to fertilize an area of a nursery: I allowed myself to just go for it. Seeing and realizing that my resistance and feelings of disgust and yuckiness towards touching worms and having them on my skin is, really, just based on ideas, beliefs and other people's words and their relationship to worms and other things which I have allowed to also form part of my own relationship towards worms, nature, the earth, bugs, animals, dust, fur and so on. I haven’t really decided for myself, in awareness and by my own choice, that this is going to be my relationship towards and experience with worms, earth, nature, animals, bugs, dust, fur and so on. I have allowed my relationship to these things to be taken and copied from others. I haven’t created them by myself and for myself.
Letting go of the old, Embracing new experiences
So, what I’ve learned staying on this farm so far is to be more grounded through working with the earth. Earthy is a word that I like to use to depict this experience I have and am still going through. By breathing and allowing myself to unconditionally let go of my fears towards bugs, plants, animals and the earth, which I have copied from others, I’ve pushed myself to embrace new experiences to open up in me and to walk through these new processes and experiences that are opening up for me through this new environment. I’ve dug my hands deep in soil with worms in it; “washed” my face with earth/soil, touched dogs and animals, had cats sleep in the same bed with me, had dogs lick my hand, had strands of cat hair in my food and coffee, had to deal and live with more dust, fur and smells than ever before. But, by allowing myself to push through my resistance towards these things, which haven’t been part of my life and living up till now, ever, instead of resisting it or giving into and accepting my resistances, fears, beliefs and relationship I have created towards these things - and by embracing the new environment and experiences - I have unlocked a door within myself. A door that allows me to expand myself, redefine my relationship to nature: Animals, insects, earth, soil, dust, rust, smells, plants and so on. I have walked through the door of creating comfort; becoming comfortable within and around these new things and experiences of this new environment. I’ve never imagined this possible. I haven’t seen myself able to become comfortable around these things. Yet, I’ve allowed myself to step aside my own accepted and allowed ideas, beliefs, fears and resistances towards such things and through that I’ve expanded myself.
Key point to take with you
The key point to take away from this experience is: Allow yourself to challenge and let go of your accepted notion of things; your accepted view of things. What you believe about yourself, someone or something in your life and relationship to things and people. Embrace new experiences and things in life. Realize that what we know of life is not all there is in fact. It’s only what we see and know and have accepted as the life we know. The spectrum of life is much larger than what we have accepted and what we understand and see life to be. Through allowing ourselves to challenge our accepted reality and point of view of all things, and instead embrace new experiences, new lifestyles, new and different ways of doing things and so on - we expand our spectrum of life. We create more of ourselves. We enrich ourselves and our lives.
New experiences and challenges allow us to learn so much more about ourselves, life and the process of self-creation. Not only that, but it also allows us to create so much more of who we are and our life. If we are stuck with only an accepted way of doing or seeing a drawing technique - well, then our world becomes very small. When we instead allow ourselves to challenge our known techniques of drawing and painting, we are open to learn new things. Maybe we’ll then discover faster, more precise and better techniques that allow us to become better artists or whatever in our life. The drawing and painting reference here is only a contextual example; the core-point obviously is replicable and applies to all areas of ourselves and life:
Expand and embrace new things and experiences in our life, let’s not get too arrogant, ignorant and egotistical thinking what we know is all there is. It’s not. It’s only limiting us. Confining us in a very limited, self-created, bubble of reality and life. We can expand ourselves and our living and life so much more. We only need to allow and give ourselves permission to do so, make that decision in us and then live it practically. Finding practical ways if we don’t have some at a moment.
For more support and practical tools on how to change ourselves, you can peek into this free online course.
Also, you can learn more about a process of Redefining and Living Words and with that Redefining Yourself, Redefining who you are at:
Thank you,
Nebi :)