I got a call the other day from Mr. T. the consequence enforcer at the middle school, "Mr. O., I need you to pick Little O. up, he is being suspended for the day. He pulled another boy's pants down in the locker room. He wasn't the only one to do it, and they are all receiving the same punishment." May I tell you, I wanted to jump through the phone and pull Mr. T.'s pants down?!
I must provide you with some background on the characters in this story. Mr. T. is the athletic director for both the middle and high schools in our township. He is my age, let's just say, in our forties. It is apparent that he played sports growing up. My son is ten years old in fifth grade. The other boys in the locker room are the normal hodge podge of students you would expect.
As I listened to Mr. T. explain what happened, I was thinking of all the times in the past that I have had my untied sweats pulled to my ankles revealing my tightie whities. I interrupted the discussion and said, "you mean they were pantsing each other?", to which he replied, "exactly... unfortunately he is being suspended for the day, and you have to come pick him up." The tone in his voice hinted that he was embarrassed that this was the consequence of such a time honored tradition of hazing your locker mate, so I did not state the obvious change in times, and picked Little O. up.
I am sure there are readers who will want to explain to me that this type of locker room antic can hurt the feelings of the weaker of victims, to which I say, toughen up or buckle your belt quick. I am not telling this story for that debate. I agree with what hazing can lead to, and do not wish my son to participate in it. I am telling this story for what he was suspended for.
I picked Little O. up and later received an email from the school with explanation of his suspension. He was suspended for, "INAPPROPRIATE CONTACT"!!! Now if that doesn't leave a reader to use their imagination, I don't know what does. In this Harvey Weinstein world we are living in, would you not picture him fondling some kid in the hallway, or maybe a hot science teacher? I could accept pantsing being equated to goofing off, or even bullying, but not inappropriate contact. In this new world, there is zero tolerance for anything that can be perceived as sexual harassment and kids are at jeopardy of having these sorts of labels on their records for even the most innocent of behavior!
The old world dad in me looked back fondly on all the times I was pantsed or did the pantsing, and laughed in spite of the conversation I was in. The new world dad in me knew I had to take this seriously to ensure my son understands how his life can be effected by these antics. I lectured him for a few minutes about behaving in school, and made him write a story about acting up in the locker room which he had to take to Mr. T. I can only imagine what other old world antics I will have to discipline because of new world consequences!
