Hello friends!
A few days ago I attended my sister's wedding. It was a beautiful one, and my sister was gorgeous. The groom was handsome, too.
During the ceremony, I had some thoughts for them and for the people who were there, ideas about how to build a good family and have success in your marriage. I would like to share some of them with you in this article:
Love your spouse on purpose!
Many marriages do not last for a long period because the husband and wife do not love each other on purpose, unconditionally. Of course, when you fall in love, you are ready to demonstrate your love in many ways, but after you get married, the time pass by and the butterflies from your stomach fly away. Suddenly you have more expectations from your spouse than the desire to show how much you love them.
Most of the people love others only if they are loved by others first, as a response to their love. But to have a successful marriage, you need to love first even though you don't receive the same love back from your spouse.
Love is not only a feeling. Love is a decision that must be taken every day. It's like a flower that grows only if you water it, you put it in a light and take care of it. Love doesn't improve by itself; you have to love on purpose!
Know your identity
Do not let people put tags on you. You have value and God created you with a purpose. To have a happy marriage it's important to know who you are. If you think you are a failure, nobody will be able to make you happy! If you have a good opinion about yourself, nobody will be able to make you unhappy. Not even your spouse.
Do not expect your partner to be responsible for your joy. Yes, he can add value to your life, but can't do much if you have bitterness in your heart.
The problems in many families today are because there are unrealistic expectations. Some people think that when they will get married the problems of their life will end, but when they get married, they realise that the difficulties are still there. That brings frustrations and puts the marriage in danger.
If you know who you are, you will not bring unfixes issues in your marriage. You will have peace, joy and trust in your partner.
Do not fight with your spouse about small things
The small things can destroy significant relationships. Every relationship is based on a certain amount of respect. Small fights shrink respect. Most family misconceptions do not start from significant problems, but from small ones. It seems that for big issues we have more understanding and patience, looking for a solution, while for the small ones, many people rush to accuse others.
In marriage, it's important to look for peace and solve conflicts, not to point the finger to the defects of your spouse. With the passage of the years, you will realise that a lot of little things that you quarrelled with your partner were of no importance at all. What's more, you'll be amazed at the immaturity you had when you argued.
The family shouldn't be a conflict zone, a battlefield, but a place of comfort, peace and understanding, a place where everyone can be himself without being tried or accused.
Be a grace-giver, not a law-maker!
Love is about giving grace to your spouse, not making laws for him.
Do not put pressure on your partner, and do not suggest that he should be like you. Do not try to change your husband or wife. You will not be able to. Every person is unique, and what makes a marriage work is understanding and accepting the differences. The differences are those that bring a plus to the marriage, not the resemblances.
Just because your spouse is not doing things the same way as you do, does not mean it's wrong. Each of us is influenced by the environment in which we grew up, the family we are part of, the entourage we have.
If your partner is different and acts differently than you, offer him grace, do not try to impose laws. Do not say: If you do not do that for me, I do not do anything for you either. If you do not do it in my way, I'll get very upset ...
A successful marriage needs grace, not laws. When your partner fails, offer forgiveness, offer love, offer grace.
Help your spouse to touch his limits
Your partner has great potential, but without your encouragement and being on his side, will not be able to much. Discover the talents and gifts your wife or husband has, and help him to develop this gifts. Appreciate the small improvements, and encourage him to do the best.
Do not use irony and sarcasm in your marriage. It seems cool in the beginning, but using them will ruin your relationship.
Dare to dream big for your spouse and always believe for the best!
These were my thoughts on a successful marriage. What do you think? Feel free to add your opinion in the comments below.
Your feedback is appreciated!
Nicu Zaharie