For as long as I can remember my interest have been very widespread. I was the experimenter, always partying, and at the same time I was always considered the smart one who knew a lot about computers. An eccentric outlook and as far away from organized religion is where I laid my beliefs, and accepting a role in the world has been the hardest task for me to complete.
I always told myself I'd just be the free spirit, the lover, the wanderer, and I am. But when I compare and contrast to some others around me who took a straight shot through college and into a career, I feel left behind in a way. I work check to check, and spend money like it will always come back around.. while they bask in their 5 day work weeks and stable income.
It makes me wonder if I should of done things differently, If I should be better setup than I am now. Am I falling behind, or am I decades ahead? I often ask myself. While the people filling these much needed and respected roles, I did nothing but freelance program useless out of date CMS system and meditate for hours on end. Picking apart and rebuilding my personality, enjoying my friends, and just generally living life, or fucking off, it depends on how you look at it I suppose.
I just wish that stability and money and having to settle into a 9 to 5 weren't so ingrained. Travelling, exploring, and feeling secure would be amazing, but at what cost? I often think I should just go back to school and be a therapist and collect my 50k a year salary, but how fast I'd tire of such routine repels me. I suppose it is all a learning process.
