This — is not one of those times.
Good Evening.
My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself.
This morning I present to you the tragedy that is my life as an artist sometimes.
Working day in and day out. Sun goes up. Sun goes down. Trying to create all that is the next masterpiece.
I have failed.
Bags under my eyes for — nothing.
Twenty gallons of coffee and three packs of cigarettes all for — nothing.
The children were young and now they're old. Their life flashed before my eyes. "Daddy. When will you make us rich?"
Never.
At least, not if I keep this up. "Sorry children. Daddy has failed."
Unfortunately, the show must go on.
All lovers of the comics and the superheros should probably shield their eyes now.
You can stop the drum roll.
Behold!
I'm ruined...
I can already hear the reviews from the web pouring in now:
"Captain Catastrophic doesn't deserve to be a number one hit on Google."
What does that even mean? Jeez. These people...
I'm reminded of the time I tried to draw Batman:
To this day, people still don't believe me when I tell them, "He's standing right there! Looking out the window! What do you mean you can't see Batman!"
And when I put Superman in a blender with a dash of kryptonite:
... all they did was boo and say mean curse words.
Maybe I should just retire from the world of superhero creation. I suck at it.
This is so embarrassing.
Then someone is going to read this someday and think I'm being serious which only makes things worse!
I'm having a bad day.
Such a bloody mess.
This post was supposed to be about Captain Catastrophic, and I can't even do that right.
Now these people on Hive will be afraid to speak to me.
All that work and I just keep digging my hole deeper and deeper.
Soon this post will be over and that'll be the only thing to happen here that actually made people happy.