I regret to inform you, the reader of this, there will not be a post today.

I realize I haven't missed a day of work in awhile.

I know you're sad.

I'm Not Feeling Well

^{Can't seem to post.}

I don't know if I'm constiposted or just can't think.

^{(I wasn't the first to say it though... Oh well! I found that out later.)}

I tried and I tried.  I sat here, nearly died.  No matter what I do, can't seem to post, my head feels fried.

I looked around, saw a lot of people posting the same thing.  "Netcoins!"  I didn't want to do the Netcoins post, even though I could, and then at least I won't have to call in sick today, but I can't even muster up the strength to be able to say Netcoins and mean it, so I won't.

Vote Today!

^{That's probably what I'd say if I was writing the Netcoins post.}

Unfortunately, there will be no post today, at all.  If you'd like to read a post, read one of these:

They say:

^{"Old posts don't matter.  They'll base their conclusions about you on your current post and everything else is forgotten."   (It's probably better if you forgot about the bananas post.  I forgot to use the fiction tag.  How embarrassing.)}

I realize you probably think I'm the Guy Who Calls In Sick but that's simply not true.  It's true today, sure.  I can admit it, I'm a guy and I just so happen to be calling in sick, today; but that doesn't mean all I do is call in sick.  I've done things.  A lot of things.  This place won't fall apart without me, so relax.  I'm not needed today.  My services are important, but ineffective today, because I'm not feeling well.

I'm contagious.  I don't want to see everyone else get sick and not be able to post.  That would destroy Steemit.  Then you'd have a reason to be pissed with me.  Be happy I'm not here to post today.  Say, "Thank you for staying home today, @NoNamesLeftToUse.  You're so generous and thoughtful."

No!

^{I wasn't out drinking again last night.}

This isn't a hangover.  I have the shits and a headache.  I could barely get out of bed today.  No, that wasn't me at the bar.  I was on the toilet all night reading magazines and I'm very tired now because I didn't sleep.

I can't come in and post feeling tired like this.  Someone might get hurt, including me.  I'm afraid to go outside feeling like this.  What if I get hit by a bus because I was too tired to remember to look before crossing the street?  How will you explain that to the insurance company?  "We forced a sick man to post today."  Yeah, good luck with that, buddy.

Fine!

^{I'll get off my ass and do something.}

^{Project ILE}

See!

^{See what you made me do!}

Even my art is sick today.  That guy just puked all over the sky!

Someone better tell Steem Cleaners to get the mop and bring extra gloves.  It's not my job to clean that up.

Conclusion

^Sorry.

I can't come in to post today.  There will be no post.  If you came here looking for a post and noticed there isn't a post, don't worry, I'm simply not feeling well, it's not a big deal; I will get better.  Please do not send flowers.  Those happy looking helium balloons are cool though so send those.  The cat will destroy them but it's hilarious when they meow with helium voice so I wouldn't mind spending a day trying to make that happen.

Have a nice day.

Credits: _{All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "Cough! Cough! Cough! Ow my head! I hope it's not a man cold. I won't be in to post today."}

^{© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.}