Today, This Man began to chuckle at the thought of a memory.
The Man in the Blue Jacket
Monday to Friday, and sometimes Saturday, This Man would leave the comforts of home behind and step out into the chaos that is The Big City.
This Man had his very own chauffeur service that ran on a strict schedule of being late only half of the time. That meant This Man would sometimes spend many hours standing near a pole with a tiny picture of a bus on top.
Many people would come and go. Some would stay.
There Was a Man in a Blue Jacket
Not just a regular Man in a Blue Jacket, no. That Man in the Blue Jacket was slightly irregular. He would talk to himself, had a strange walk, oddly shaped head and a weird mustache. He was there waiting every time This Man had to be there, never skipped a day.
"That's right," yelled The Man in the Blue Jacket, quite often, for no apparent reason.
That's Right!
The first few times, This Man was caught off guard. Eventually though, This Man got used to it. The Man in the Blue Jacket was not a threat, he was just crazy, and that's fine.
Often, This Man would be silently entertained at the reactions of a few passersby who were not accustomed to The Man in the Blue Jacket's odd behavior. Some would jump out of their shoes and a few times This Man nearly spit out the cigarette while being overcome with feelings of joy.
One Day
It was just This Man and The Man in the Blue Jacket, standing there, alone together, at last.
After many weeks and spending many moments standing near The Man in the Blue Jacket but never saying anything to him, This Man decided to take the plunge.
"Hello, how are you today," asked This Man. The Man in the Blue Jacket, not skipping a beat, looked This Man square in eye and responded with:
Fuck the Yankees!
The Man in the Blue Jacket then went on for a good twenty minutes yelling about Major League Baseball. He would not give This Man a chance to respond to anything. A one way conversation leading straight to hell.
The entire time, The Man in the Blue Jacket did not take his eyes off of This Man. Passersby and random gawkers looked at This Man as if This Man said something wrong and was now getting schooled by someone who actually knows their baseball.
That turned out to be the longest twenty minutes of This Man's life, but it did not end there.
The #3 Finally Shows Up
We boarded the magic road rocket together, but This Man decided the safest place would be the back of the bus. The Man in the Blue Jacket took his usual seat near the center door where nobody else would ever sit with him. From there, half a bus away, The Man in the Blue Jacket continued to yell at This Man about everything he knew about baseball. People were telling him to calm down but he did not care. Obviously, he'd been bottling this up for a very long time.
It was a long ride. This Man knew The Man in the Blue Jacket would be getting off at the mall downtown, that's where he always goes.
Finally
The Man in the Blue Jacket removes himself and his sportscast from the bus to do his usual walk across the busy downtown street. This time, he's walking backwards, still yelling about baseball, still looking at This Man dead in the eye.
That was the moment This Man finally cracked a smile. It was safe. This Man survived the baseball zombie from hell attack unscathed.
After that little fiasco, This Man decided it was probably time to change things up, add a little spice to life, and take a different bus route. We did end up crossing paths a few times though, but This Man never made the same mistake again.
So
If you're ever out there roaming the streets of Edmonton, be careful. There's one crazy Blue Jay's fan somewhere around and he's ready to rip your face off. Approach with caution, do not make any sudden movements and if you value your life, do not say hello.
This Man would like to thank you for your time today.
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