As I close in on 3000, I'm confused.
- I didn't buy you.
- I didn't trick you into following me just because I followed you.
- I swear too much.
- I give no fucks.
- I smoke.
- I say stupid things and act dumb.
- I say smart things and act like an asshole.
- I need a glass of water.
- I do random things that don't make sense.
- I actually think I'm funny.
- I produce strange art that scares people.
- I killed the Easter bunny when I was four and that's why it doesn't exist anymore.
- I was defending myself.
- I can't dance.
- I farted.
- I don't think, I just do.
- I don't like pictures of myself.
- I can still remember falling off of my bike the first time I tried without training wheels.
- I quit school, demanded they return my school fees, and bought weed with that money.
- I lost count of how many times I nearly died.
- I caught two teachers having sex in the gymnasium.
- I don't like it when people eat all of the crackers.
- I sure could use a beer.
- I might die someday.
- I miss playing Nintendo.
- I wonder what my kids are doing.
- I love them.
- I don't know where I'm going with this.
- I get distracted easily.
- I have a bowl of raw vegetables around here somewhere.
- I have done this before.
- I have a hard time tolerating sycophants.
- I don't know why I did this.
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