Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. https://www.psychologytoday.com
Biblically, marriage is an institution ordained by God which involves the legitimate union of a man and a woman.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, ESV)
Since marriage involves two different individuals who are supposed to live together forever, it has to be well managed to avoid unnecessary frictions which could harm it, or bring it to an untimely end. Marriage has a great societal impact because it directly affects the society. A good and happy marriage usually results to harmonious and peaceful individuals.
Marriage just like every other human relationship has its core value which includes the following:
Knowledge and understanding
This is the most important key to a happy marriage. Every other factor is directly connected to it. Having a clear knowledge of what marriage is all about is very important. I guess you wouldn’t buy a car and start driving without learning how to drive first, if you try that, your guess is as good as mine. You could lose your life for it. Likewise, marriage should be understood before venturing into it. You have to learn the art of marriage.
Secondly, you should have an intimate understanding of the person you are marrying. What are his/her values, goals and dreams? Are they clashing with yours? All these could either make or break a marriage. Knowing the temperaments of your partner is also important.
Communication
It is vital to every human relationship. The place of good communication skills in marriage cannot be overemphasised. Communication in this aspect is not restricted to talking to each other alone, it involves connecting with the whole being of your partner. Listening with keen attention to what the other person is trying to pass across even when the right words are not used. You learn to effectively let your spouse know what your wants and needs are. Don’t ever assume he/she should know. Also, learn how to talk about what they did wrong, but don’t rub things in.
Love
Marrying the person you love makes you easily tolerate the person’s flaws and shortcomings. Love makes you go the extra miles to make the person happy and comfortable. Love is an essential asset in marriage but certainly not the most important. Many young people get caught up in the love web and they think they’ll have a happy marriage simply because they love each other. However, the consistent divorce case filed by two people who still love each other indicates that love alone cannot sustain a marriage. Before you marry the one you love, other qualities should be considered as well.
Commitment
How committed is your spouse to you? It is very important to marry someone who doesn’t see you as an option. In as much as the person is committed to her/his job or career, the person should be able to make sacrifices for your happiness. Your spouse should see you as a top priority in his/ her life.
Trust
When you trust your spouse, and as well earn his/ her trust, it minimizes the harmful effect that could arise from third parties interference. Trust strengthen marriage and help it successfully scale through challenging moments.
Most importantly, before getting married have this at the back of your mind “there are no perfect humans” neither is there anything like “perfect marriage”. You have to patiently and consistently work hard to grow a happy home.
The innermost desire of every couple is to have a happy marriage, but only a few are experiencing it. Make the right choices today, and be among the fortunate few.
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