Third party interference has done more harm than good to so many marriages and that should make you want to put it to check if you desire a happy marriage.
So what do I mean by third party interference?
Third party interference simply means directly or indirectly allowing outsiders or other factors affect your marriage or take marital decisions for you.
Why third parties intrude
Third parties don't intrude without our invitation or permission. Most times, the involvement with thirds party is only an indication that something has started going wrong with the marriage. People turn to third parties for help and comfort. Let's take a look at what promotes third parties interference.
Shocking discoveries that come with intimacy.
It is always said that you really don't know a person until you have lived with him. There are so many things you'll never discover during courtships until you get married. After marriage, couple share deep intimacy and these reveals all their strength and weaknesses. People may be shocked to find out some flaws in their partners and begin to feel resentful about it. Some will emotionally withdraw from their spouses. Doing these would create a vacuum which could make them turn to outsiders for help. To solve this issue, first of all, accept the fact that no human is perfect. Accept your spouse with his flaws. Communicate well with each other, and tell them some things you may want them to improve on. Good communication and tolerance is the key to solving this type of problem.
Taking marriage for granted.
Some people do take their marriage for granted. They do all manner of things that shows disrespect or disregards for their marriages. This type of behaviour makes a spouse seek comfort outside. These are some things that show you are taking your marriage for granted.
Valuing work more than your marriage.
In as much as work is important to solve the financial needs of the family, any work that constantly separates you from your family should be put to check.
Nagging
If you habitually nag at your spouse, then you don't value your marriage. Because no one finds it easy being comfortable with a nagging person. Surely, they will begin to seek for comfort and peace outside.
Having extramarital affairs.
Cheating on your spouse makes them feel resentful and they may want to retaliate, emotional withdraw from you or simply seek a divorce. Avoid having an extramarital affair at all cost.
Focusing all attention on children.
Loving your children and showering them with all the love they need should never make you abandon your spouse. So many women make this mistake when they start having kids. Doing this makes your husband feel lonely and he may tend to seek attention from others.
Sharing marital secrets with friends.
Your friends should never know about your family secrets.
Not knowing how to set boundaries between family and in-laws.
The most uncontrollable family conflicts come from in-laws. It is very important to set boundaries on how in-laws should interfere with your marital affairs.
What you should put in check to protect your marriage from third parties.
Keeping friends, working and being close to your family are not bad, but It becomes destructive if it comes in between the love you share with your spouse. Some of these intruders could be church, family, friends, work, etc. In order to protect your marriage, you should learn how to set boundaries.
Keep conflict within
Stop inviting the third party to resolve your issues for you. Find a common ground to resolve your issues instead of inviting family and friends. Learn to understand each other. Good communication skills can help the couple resolve their issues internally without inviting outsiders.
Understand the first five years syndrome and handle it appropriately.
The emotional feeling of your partner has not yet been adjusted. Marriage in its first five years is very delicate, and always suffers third party interference from the in-laws. It's usually not so easy to adjust to the fact that you are now sharing your life with another person different from your family members. Sometimes, people get married and still act like they were single. Give your spouse time to adjust to the reality of being married. Help them adjust their emotional dependency. You should try as possibly as you can to stop allowing your parents run your life. You stop believing that their decision is better than that of your spouse. You should stop comparing the way they do things or treat you, with the way your partner does. If you continue doing all these things, they will make your marriage hit the rock faster than you'll ever imagine.
Set common values and principles
When you lay a good foundation on which your marriage should grow, unnecessary competition with other couples would be avoided. It is common to see some wives compete with each other. They do these to the detriment of their marriages. They mount pressure on their husbands to keep up with other women. They take advice from other wives and try to pressure their husbands to abide by those rules. Such attitude destroys marriages. To easily stay away from that, build your own core values and common goals then grow together with it.
Always set boundaries between marriage and other things
It is important to set boundaries between the work, friends, in-laws and social gatherings such as church, partying, etc.
Conclusion
It is important to note that these third parties interfering with our marriages are not doing it to hurt us. They usually have good intentions for us. But if we desire a happy marriage, we must learn how to run our marriages ourselves without involving outside interference.
All images were gotten from imgur.com
