As easy as these words I have spelled out in my topic seem, it was something really difficult for me to adhere to and I think that was because I thought about others more than myself.
I must admit that I am a lover, and when I love someone I could do anything for the person (except dying for the person!!), so the bottom line is that I love and it is for real.
As a born lover, I always look out for the good of everyone around me, placing myself out of the equation totally, at a young age, I started getting involved in petty trades and little things so that I could support the family and everything I made from all I got was given to my siblings.
I wanted them to feel satisfied, in the little way I could help, I wanted my Parents to always smile at me, I will take nothing out of all the profit I made back then and I will give all out.
At some point, my Mum was scared this my love attitude was going to graduate from just the family to someone who might not cherish me, so she spoke with me about it, telling me that I had to love myself because sometimes, I might not get back the love I give out especially to strangers.
This attitude grew up with me and when I found myself in love, I gave it all as well, I wanted my partner to always have everything that will make him look confident placing my own good looks at a corner.
People told me I deserve to look better because I work too hard for my look, but that was not my business because my only concern was to make sure that the people I love were okay and had something good to eat and put on.
But, now I see things differently, I have learned you should take proper care of yourself just as much as you can take care of others.(although I learned the hard way).
I am far from being perfect, but the only thing I asked for was just to become loved as much as I love others, which seemed as if it was too much for me to ask.
Now, I look at myself and I feel so proud of myself when I walk into that mall and I purchase something of a good quality for myself without thinking of what any of my loved ones will want to get with that money.
Although I cannot claim to have totally gotten over this attitude as I often find myself loving like crazy again even those who cannot dare to show me off, at least I am glad I am getting better at loving myself.
I feel really confident now and the most important thing is the way I make myself smile often, I have started reducing the way I expect love from others.
Now, I believe that the only person who owns the key to my happiness is myself, rather than feeling ba whenever someone I love hurt me, I just look for something to make myself laugh it off (although it is not easy, I am trying) finally happy I have learned now, people will definitely hurt you especially those that you love, but the moment you cherish yourself first, the pain will be minimal.
Thank you for coming around.
..............It's your Nigerian Lady @Oluwatobiloba.
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