For almost two whole weeks we got nothing but rain and storm here in Belgium, it was really awful to start the holidays like that.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up today. I was going to write during the day but when I saw what was going on outside, I could not resist the invitation.
The bright sun was greeting me with a big gigantic smile, she was alone in a perfect blue sky, no clouds to keep her company. I decided I had to accept and went into the city.
I was going to have a bite and get me some notebooks and drawing pens. I went by bus and it was already very busy when I arrived at the center.
Because of the sales period, there were lots of busy shoppers everywhere, they were moving like little ants on the giant plaza when I walked down from the bridge. Most of them were dragging tons of bags filled with precious treasures they had managed to discover in of the many fancy shops. It was much too busy for my liking.
I went to a shop that had those little notebooks, the ones that I liked so much because they had no lines and I could use them as a sketchbook. It was my lucky day, they were also in sales so I got two for the price of one. Satisfied and eager to draw with those new pens I had just bought.
I left the shop and was about to sit on a terrace for a coffee when someone shouted my name. I knew that voice but somehow it was different and I could not really remember where I had heard it before.
Suddenly I saw a person that was waving at me. I still had no clue who it was but when I approached him I almost froze to the ground. I tried to hide my horror to him, I could not believe what I saw and was still completely shocked.
At the same time I was ashamed because of all those mixed feelings and memories that went through my head and my stomach. I only knew him from a job in the past and the last time I had seen him he was super fit and had the body of an athlete.
Many people were jealous, now he was so pale and very skinny, I could not believe how weight he had lost. I knew it probably had to be cancer, when my mother was receiving chemo she also looked like that.
The treatment was going well, he said.
That is nice”, I said but I immediately knew how meaningless that must have sounded to a person in this position. Cancer kills millions of people and he has to spend every moment of every day with that fear.
I still remember when my mom was in the hospital. A few times she woke up at night and then she kept shouting that she didn’t want to die. I can still remember that look in her eyes. That look full of despair.
My feeling of helplessness. The anger and hate I felt, against myself, against the world and of course the regrets. I thought I had accepted it but some of the regrets were still there.
They say it is a wound that will never heal but I never understood because I had never knew death before. I would do anything to hold her one more time, give her one last hug and tell her everything is going to be ok.
We had a long talk about the past and It was very emotional for the both of us. I sincerely hope the doctors are right and he will be completely better soon.
When I was walking home, I passed a grocery store and I suddenly remembered how happy I was two hours ago when I was walking the other way. It's so absurd how our existence and our happiness are so extremely volatile yet we thrive among these conditions.
We go on with our daily rituals and we ignore the fact that the time we are alive is very precious. Many things in our world can be very dangerous to this fragile human body. The possibility of death is always lurking nearby. We are being fed by this beautiful planet and we are also protected by it ’s magnetic shield but that same planet can burst lava out of it ’s belly, create tornado’s and kill us anyway.
We take everything for granted but it is a miraculous mystery why we can be alive and how we can be experiencing being a human here on earth at this very specific moment.
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
Mahatma Ghandi
Every experience we have is such an unique combination of an immense amount of different influences coming together that it is impossible to reproduce the same experience twice ever.
We should live and enjoy everything at it ’s fullest, make the most out of the opportunity’s we have, the talents we have been given and the people who have become parts of our lives.
We don’t need anything do be what we are. We can dream it, we can do it!
If you want to travel the world, pack your bags and leave now.
Do you want to be a writer or an artist? Create, create and keep creating.
If you want to become a dancer, put the music on and dance!
Every moment we share with good company is a gift and our time here together is very limited.
It is our responsibility to be very clear about what we do, why and how we do it.
We owe it to ourselves and the ones we love.
