August 2005, the year that completely changed the fate of my family. While looking forward for my 13th birthday celebration, I witnessed my mum broke down into tears from a phone call she received. Couple of days back, my dad (Andy) visited the hospital via motorcyle saying to my mum "it is a minor check-up, I will be back in 2 days time". Clueless on what is happening, we rushed to the National Heart Institute in KL. I could not hold on to tears as I knew something was not right while we were heading to the hospital.
1st in my life, I witnessed my best friend, my breadwinner, my inspirational figure & my father was on a hospital bed with one eyes closed & the other side opened. Everyone else is discussing on what is happening to him & I was feeding him with orange fruit, witnessing one side of his eyelids was closed & the other side I witnessed tears flowing down gently looking at me. That was the time I heard the word called "Stroke".
Our story was featured in magazines & short videos courtesy from the Stroke Association of Malaysia & here is a picture of it. However, I will share to you on our life journey until today & I hope it would give you some hope, faith & believe in life.
Image 1: A pic of my mum talking my dad for evening stroll
Image 2: The short article on our experience dealing with stroke
I was puzzled in my head. First is the "Why?" He loved his life to the fullest doing what he does. Next, "How?" & how the doctors & nurses could not save him. I realized, no one to be blamed for this. At that time, I remember he was transferred from one hospital to another hospital & doctors labelled him as good as a "vegetable" as he is bedridden & unable to walk. The stroke affected his coordination quite bad as it hits his spine. Prior to this, he was in the air force & in servicing the aviation industries. You can see some vintage pictures of him when he was well & enjoying life.
Image 3: His passion with the aviation industry
Image 4: His time in the airforce
Image 5: A person who loves to be surrounded with kids
Image 6: His passion in sports (football, rugby & more)
It was hard to imagine at that time. My sister was in the university. my brother was sitting in his most important exam in high school. I was just beginning my high school life. My mum stayed late night in the hospitals, made her prayers to save his husband. I had to cut my school allowances that time. However, my mum ensured we had food on our table, a good place to stay & proper education. She did not have any education background. Money was stuck as only my dad had the access. Somehow, she did it. My dad had great friends who was there with him thick & thin.
Few months later, we moved him to a nursing centre from the hospital. I witnessed my dad wearing an adult diapers & had his neck with hole, having suction done to remove his phlegm. Who would imagine a strong figure end up like that. We had a very small car back then to travel. I did not have the license & my mum took the courage to drive in places she would not imagine. We made efforts to bring him to physiotherapy, however it was overdemanding to cope with high school, being a caregiver & learning physical exercise for stroke survivors. A caregiver played a very important part in the stroke survivor's life. We had very limited fund & time, especially when the world demand us to be successful "in our educational settings".
I would not complain too as there are others who achieved success in much more challenging manner. The most important thing, is the stroke survivor must go through rehab as soon as possible & they must have a positive willpower & mentality to recover. We tried almost everything until our reserves fund are running out. Additionally, he was too strong for my mum & my siblings to move him around. We had arguments & physical barriers from himself pushing us away whenever we want to bring him out of home, especially for rehab.
That is when, I probably realized we gave our best that we could, of course we could do more, but we love him. To see him being in denial & dejected, we were exhausted. Our aim is only to see him walk & experience life again. He can't walk, however he is way much better than before at least.
"So you may ask, what is the light from this tunnel?"
1. Life itself
Although he may lost hope in life & ponder on the future of his children, but we were blessed in what life came to us. My sister obtained her bachelors in TESL & a lecturer herself. She got married. It was probably his biggest concern in his life. I am blessed to have a supporting brother in law & two beautiful nieces :)
Image 7: Our first family portrait picture during my sisters wedding dinner
2. His Dreams
My brother loved the aviation industry as my dad. Although my dad was not there to support him physically & morally. However with dedication, perseverance & strong passion, my brother is an aircraft engineer, doing what he love doing, aspiring from what my dad loved in his life.
3. Inspiring Others
He inspired me to write this. Our situation made me to do what's best for the family. I may have not done the biggest sacrifice in my life for my family, but in every decision I do, my thoughts will always be my family. I have big dreams. Some I achieved. Some I failed very bad. I am turning 26 next year. At times I lost hope. That's when I knew @Steembusiness sharing me this platform. I wanted to visit Belgium to thank one of the person that believed in me & helped me to go one step further in my life. But I never knew it would happen this way.
I may have yet to reach my fullest potential, but I am working on it.
I hope you would have faith & hope reading this story of our family.
In any tough times, I wish you to believe & remember, rainbow comes after the rain.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that - Martin Luther King, Jr
If you see clearly see the dark skies in the night, you can see the stars & stars resembles hope :)
I wish all the best for everyone who reads this & stay blessed with your beloved ones