Before i start my narrative, the question that runs through my mind is : when does showing too much affection become dangerous?
Dont get me wrong "love in itself is not wrong but when too much of it comes from you especially to the opposite sex, then it becomes worrying and dangerous.
For instance, in a relationship, it is the girl that loves so/ too much( ingact it is turning to an obsession), her life revolves round the guy,she convinces him almost all the time on reasons why they much go on dates( lunch or dinner), she gives the guy whatever he asks, she collapses her itinery or standard for her partner, in short, she does everything to massage his " ego". However, nothing seems to be forth coming from him, even if at all, placing it on a scale of 1-10, he is just 2 out of 10, he orders her around at will, he shows no committment to the relationship.
All these indicates that "you are only in love with yourself, you are dating or courting yourself.
I say all these because it grieved my heart to see my friend who was dumped by her would-be husband after 8 years of courtship.
My friend, Miss X, dated her " suppossed husband material" for 8years, it started right from school. She loved him intensely, spends on him effortlessly, operated a joint account in which she pays in a higher percentage, she pleased him in all ways, even when she knew the guy was cheating on her, she forgave him. She did all to convince herself that he was the "MR RIGHT". She became so obsessed with the guy. Meanwhile, the guy only dated her for her brilliance, he was not really into her. He eventually dumped Miss X 8 years later,after she had put in so much , emotionally and financially, into the relationship.
Therefore, I'd like to share few lessons i learnt from my friend's experience:
- Don't be so obsessed about your partner, although it is appropriate to show some degree of love. We all know where obsession leads to, it is either you suffocate him with your love or do things you wont do if you were to be in right frame of mind.
- Don't be treated like a second-class citizen;don't be treated like you don't matter or be treated like you only exist in his shadows.
- If you have trust issues in your relationship , get out of such relationship, take a step backward to ruminate on your case.
- Be careful of guys that come to you in the name of love, only to realize that you only complement their" ego". He feels you are just a piece of furniture that make a living room beautiful.
- Lastly, learn from others' experience, you would be the greatest fool if you learnt the hard way, from your own story. Dont wait till the worst happens.
And to our guys out there, please dont waste her time, if you cant see a future with her. Release her to be found by a suitable suitor and if you finally find the RIGHT ONE, please stick to her and be committed.
Finally, it is imperative to know that:
LOVE IS NO MORE BLIND, LOVE NOW WEARS GOGGLES FOR CLEAR VISION. LOVE WITH YOUR SIXTH SENSE INTACT.
These are my midnight thoughts, lessons learnt from my friend's love experience.
I am still me 