I got to Qatar from my homeland in a smashing manor!
My withered, sleep deprived brain talked to me :"Dan, we have 2 hours spare!". Me :"Fuck yeah".
I proceeded to accquire some of the local "camel, sword paper" so i could buy their wears!
The bear like instinct in me forced me to forage for sustenance. I found myself buying an American hamburger immitation, it's a taste that could be compared to a pensioner that still has to work!
The "secret sauce" cough Mayonaise tasted like regret and had a gluey texture, it stuck to the back of my throat😉
The floppy burger was being burnt down in my bear stomach, as i made my way to my next flight.
I thought "imagine if i missed the flight, how funny would that be... Hur hur"...funny...
I had neglected to check my grand clock, the time was in a sad state of affairs. I bayonette charged the terminal, only to be told, by the truquoise clad flight attendants, that i was late by 4 minutes!!!
I lost my head and ran to about 5 desks, claiming that i had an asthma attack that stopped me getting the flight, but to no avail.
The loudly dressed flight attendants wanted to me to cough up some gold to get on the next oil drenched flight! I lost my shit and exclaimed"this is bullshit!".
I was told that security could be called, all i could think of was Prince of Persia and getting hacked to pieces with a schimitar in the airport terminal! I wisely decided to calm down, as i didn't have the sands of time!
I groveled like a leper without his skin cream, my parents launched their mortgage money at me! I got a new flight and dismissed thoughts of having to suck the princes dick for a flight!
I would have prefered Jasmin's magic carpet though!
I had brought some English chocolate that was made with gods semen and Mary's fanny juice, it was HOLY! I had brought the chcolate as a gift for peeps! 3 PHAT BARS!
I had no money for a hotel or food and i had 18 glorious hours to wait for the next flight!
I feebley gnawed on the Holy bar, it's goodness tainted my throat and the sugar made me feel uncomfortablly energetic. I then exisited on questionable water fountains, it was MEIN KAMPF! I felt like Bear Gryls in "Foreign airport edition!"
I danced around the funkily dressed airport staff waiting for my flight, 2 hours before it actually landed.
I got on the plane and the staff cheered me on!
The plane landed in the sun realm and i thought my harrowing journey was over, my airport survival skills prooving superior, but no.
It took 20 minutes for the plane to clear, while a sound blarred on a loop, a psychologically damaging tactic that would leave Guantanomo bay jealous as fuck, Aladin bumhole music played in a loop and murdered my eardrums!
It was the only way to describe such a noise! It was worse than Justin Beiber!
My ears bled, i smelt, my stomach was full of shame and my energy had been anhilated!
I don't drink, but i feel fucking hungover!
I look like this
