I was asked this question today. And got me thinking about my moment and wondering about other peoples moments
The life changer for me was realising on my 40th birthday, after my dad spoke to me in way he had always spoken to me, that even though deep inside I had always known it, i had never actually acknowledged that I'd lived my life to that point in total fear, terror and petrification.
I realised that I was probably half way through my life and I utterly refused to live the remainder of my life from that place. Every single decision and non decision, including having my first child, my marriage, divorce, finances, work all of it, were made from a place of fear.
I decided to embark on a journey of 7 years of hard core personal development. I took a zero tolerance attitude to my fear, commited to ending it once and for all. I was extremely hard on myself.
I did things that terrified me, fire walks, skydives, first tattoo, silent vipassanna, become self employed, so many things big and small, to face, step into, embrace and learn from my fear and pass through.
I did all of that and still inside me..... fear.
I was avoiding my greatest fear,
to tell my parents that they had made mistakes as parents and that my fear was learnt in the family home.
I was so scared, how the hell was i gonna have that conversation. The thought of it brought night terrors, agrophobic responses, all manner of physical and emotional reactions to taking the lid off of my greatest and original source of me terror.
Thankfully I was led to a powerful family constellation workshop which was pivotal in energetically enabling me to resolve with my dad.
And i was then able to tell my parents my truth. Unsurprisingly, they cut me off but i was okay, because finally I was free. Dad died during that time and now i am rebuilding my relationship with my mum.
I now continue my journey seeking healing to now help heal the mistakes I made as woman who raised children in fear and terror. It's quite a journey.
Has there been a moment in your life, that has altered the course of your life?
#change #family #transformation #courage #growth #love #familyconstellation