I went to visit my beloved grandmother the other day and found her organizing all her documents and paperwork. It was a melancholic reminder of how important it is to cherish and spend time with our loved ones while they are still with us in life.
Where should I start.. My grandmother is like the purest, warmest, most caring person alive.
Finding descriptive words that does her justice is futile. She is truly something out of this world. It’s as if the only thing that matters to her are the feelings and well-being of those she hold dear. It doesn’t matter how or why you need her help, she will happily drop what she’s doing and come to the rescue, with a big smile on her face. Unless “Home and Away” is running on the telly; in which case you’ll have to wait for the episode to finish. She really loves that show which ended up taking the one to watch-title after “Days of our Lives” was cancelled on Norwegian television. (Little does she know that Santa is very much up to date with what is happening on the Norwegian television broadcasting networks, and might be paying her a visit in the coming days).
My grandmother has always been like a mother to me. She is, to me, that source of unconditional love which I believe everyone needs in order to reach their full potential. As a matter of fact; she’s the reason why I’m still alive today, as the fear of hurting her was what kept me fighting for a brighter future instead of throwing myself off a bridge during a very dark chapter of my life.
So it was a touching melancholic moment when I found her organizing her paperwork and got to know the reason why, in her own words:
“I am old and we never know what will happen tomorrow. I don’t want you or the rest of the family to have to go through all of this paperwork when I’m no longer around, so I’m cleaning it up to make things easier.”
It is melancholic in the way that I’m grateful beyond words for having a person like this in my life, but well aware of how terribly painful it will be to lose her. As I type this I feel a tear running down my cheek. F*ck masculinity and that sort of bullshit. Just the thought of waking up one day and not being able to visit my grandmother to tell her that I love her and get to know that she loves me back, is heartbreaking and used to leave me in a puddle of tears. But not this time. The way she said it felt in a way reassuring and calming, in the sense that I noticed a true abundance of fear and regrets in her words. I was left with the feeling that the only thing she was concerned about in death was how those she held dear would cope with her passing, and I suddenly felt immensely empowered by something beyond just her words. It was as if I came to realize that we will not always walk besides each other in life, and for the first time I was ok with this because I know she will continue to live on in memory, spirit and in my heart. We hugged each other and I told her about ACR; an app which lets the user record and store all phone calls. I started using this about a year ago to record our conversations, as I know they will be priceless to me the day she is no longer around to speak to me directly. She told me she had been doing this with my SMSs for many years, and I could not help but tear up a bit inside as I once again was reminded of how indescribably lucky I am to have her in my life. Thank you, Universe!
With this piece, I would like to use the opportunity to encourage everyone reading this to open up your thoughts and hearts to those dear to you! Let them know how much you love them! Let them feel how much you appreciate them! And most important of all: spend time with them while you still can. Life and its mundane tasks are short, but true love is eternal!
Thank you for reading this! And please consider upvoting and following me if you enjoyed it. I am new to Steemit, and having a bigger audience would be very motivating! :-)