Greetings friends of Steemit today I want to talk about some important factors in our lives such as the past and present, and the great influence they exert in the future.
At some point in our lives, we remember the past, the moments we lived, the things we learned, the people we met. But sometimes we can meet people who are really anchored to the past and who do not live in the present. But the problem is not looking at the past and remembering, the problem comes when you live in the past continuously. This may denote a fear of the present, the challenges that life gives us, uncertainty, because if we anchor in the past, we live a permanent sense of security because we know what happened and we feel safe in everything, mainly safe from reality which can cause a feeling of continuous harassment.
That which in everyday language we call memory (verbal reconstruction - generally in private - of lived contingencies) is sometimes the end of the day, give me a phrase that is the wisest thing that no mortal has ever heard.
Problems in establishing the bond that we create with people who are part of our environment in critical stages, as well as unpleasant experiences during childhood, can involve emotional and behavioral alterations in our adult being.
Does this mean that if we have not established a correct attachment bond with the people who influence our development during childhood, or if as children we have not had our basic physiological and affective needs covered, or if we have suffered some kind of trauma, we will irremediably have an adult life full of intrapsychic conflicts?
If we look around us carefully, we can get the answer to this question, because almost all of us know people who have suffered some trauma during their childhood, and not all of them have processed the information in the same way, nor have they acted in the same way, even in many cases of similar experiences.
"The past influences, but does not determine."
Human existence is lived in the present, but it is clearly influenced by what happened yesterday in your life. In other words, everything you are is partly due to what you have lived, what you have felt, past experiences. This is one of the reasons why it is worth being thankful for the past. Even with the mistakes made so as not to make them again and to be able to obtain a positive lesson. The past influences you, is there, in a certain way, conditions you, as long as it is possible to change it. Therefore, it is not good to deceive a new partner and hide important facts related to yesterday. The logical thing is to be oneself. However, the past does not determine whether you are free to influence your present and future in a different way. Any time is a good time to start living differently, with other ideals and other goals. How does your past influence your sentimental present? In some cases, it can have a very negative influence. This is what happens when you haven't gotten over an injury yesterday and there's something inside you that's keeping you from moving forward. Having suffered a significant lack of love leaves a lot of mark, but the important thing is to learn to relativize a situation like this. What yesterday seemed like a drama today may be your chance to choose a better ideal companion. Your past also has a negative influence when something from yesterday makes you close the doors of a definitive form of love and robs you of the inner peace that is lost by not having confidence in people. Therefore, strive to overcome yourself and make your past your best source of support when dealing best with sentimental issues in the present. Learn from all the negative experiences you have had, repeat the attitudes you are proud of, and use your experience as your best source of wisdom.
The fact of detecting that "something" happens because of the influence of the past is a first step in the face of change. The negative part is that we give so much weight to the past that we just rely on it to justify "no change", as if what happened in a previous time or repeated throughout life were conclusive proof that "it must be real".
We can also observe that under the influence of the past, we use solutions to the problems that were used then but that today can be ineffective and therefore the opportunity is lost to find other current and more useful ones.
Combating this irrational idea means accepting the fact that the past is important and influences the present, but that, at the same time, our present is the past of tomorrow and acting on it, can make your tomorrow different, and presumably more satisfying. The past changes with the present.
It is as bad to live in the future as it is in the past because you are not living in your present and in this way you are not only missing out on many things, but you are also behaving in a way that is not recommendable for yourself.
But one does not always live in the past in a comfortable way but one can obsessively return to a certain moment of something that we want would not have been the way it was. An example could be if in our life we have been deeply in love with a person and in a discussion the relationship was broken, the person will return again and again to that point obsessively wanting to change the situation, his head will roam things like "I never should have said what made him lose". This is the most common mistake of the past and no matter how much we wish it was different, there is no turning back, we cannot base our current life on this, since the most common symptoms of this behavior are melancholy, depressive states, sadness, impotence for not being able to turn back.
Anyway with the distance of the situation, and the temperance of our feelings since we are not in the same moment in which the events occurred, knowing already the end and bearing in mind that we will have more baggage of where to throw to solve situations, we see a possible solution that did not occur to us in the moment, but it is all fictitious, it is a way to move away from reality, to assimilate, to solve and to evolve with the obstacles that are presented to us.
It is absurd to torture oneself with what could have been done in those moments of the past and it was not done, to spin one's head looking for possible solutions that could have been taken... that behavior the only thing that makes us is to mistreat ourselves, to punish us psychologically, not to let us live our present moment and not to solve absolutely anything.
In order to get out of this past routine, focus on your current life, in this moment, be aware of the moment in which you live, stop thinking about past moments and erase repetitive phrases that take you back to it, like "If I had done...".
Reflection
The relationship between the past, the present and the future is something we must bear in mind when working on History. As we have already seen, History deals with the study of the past of human societies. But the past cannot be thought of as something disconnected from other times: the present and the future. The present is the time we are living and -therefore- it is the time from which we study the past. Then, our interests and our concerns of the present influence our way of looking at the past. For example, in studying the History of Ancient Greece we ask ourselves questions that are very different from those asked by students of the Middle Ages, or Renaissance men. The present is projected into the future. This means that our present actions are oriented towards something we want to happen in the future. This happens in everyday life and also in the study of history. A good example is one of the reasons why it is useful to study History: "We study History (the past) because it helps us to learn (in the present) from our mistakes, so as not to make them again (in the future)".
I hope you like them and until the next Post.