A lot people have the misconception that they will be happy if only they have no problems. But life with its ups and downs, soon or later we are bound to encounter problems. The place where people do not have any problems is either the mortuary or the cemetery because they are already dead. Since in life, we are bound to encounter problems, does that mean that we cannot be happy?
First and foremost we need to answer this basic question, “What makes us happy?” We are happy when someone gives us a present, things work out the way that we planned, when it does not rain when we go jogging, or when we are given a pay raise. If we define happiness this way, it means that our happiness is dependent on external factors which are beyond our control. Happiness then becomes a hit or miss thing dependent on external circumstances.
To me happiness is a choice and I can choose to be happy even if I have problems and things do not go the way that I planned. When I defined happiness this way, whether I feel happy or not is within my control and my happiness is not dependent on external circumstances. And if happiness is a choice, why would I not choose to be happy. Events and things that come into my life are beyond my control but how I choose to respond to these events and things are totally within my control. I can choose not to let problems make me unhappy by seeing problems as learning opportunities to improve myself. So in whatever circumstances that I am in, as long as I can see the silver lining in the cloud I can be happy.
I must admit that I used to be very sad that I have an autistic son. But when I reflect back on this situation, I realized that I have received so many blessings as well. For sure it is very challenging to raise up an autistic son, at times it is also very stressful and there were nights when both Roselind and I can hardly get any sleep. There were also times of anxiety when Jonathan, my autistic son was unwell and but he could not tell us what was wrong. But this whole experience has molded me into a better human being, one that is more patient and has more empathy compared to previously. Having Jonathan has also made me re-examine my life, to decide what is most important to me. Therefore I can honestly say that I am happy despite the fact that I have an autistic son.
So do you agree with what I have written? I would love to receive your comments and feedback.
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Do check out my previous posts.
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Charles
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