Love. A simple yet one of the most powerful words in the whole world. The abstract phenomenon people have tried to understand for thousands of years. The most powerful drug there is. The thing you only understand once you get some and that can completely wreck you if you lose it. It's intriguing, scary as hell, hard to understand and almost impossible to let go of.
But is it really that complicated?
The expectations
Social media, television and music business all love(no pun intended) talking about love. Nothing makes people excited like a good love story. The way love happens in songs is mostly the "love at first sight" way. I don't blame them since "I was friends with you for years and slowly fell in love" sounds kinda lame compared to "I wanted to marry you the second I saw you". However, this is a bit of a problem since young people are influenced by the entertainment industry a lot. Now what do they think about love when all they hear and see is how people find the perfect boy/girl and fall in love immediately?
I think this is one of the problems when we're talking about love. Most seem to think it's something that hits you like a lightning strike out of nowhere and there you are, completely in love. If these are your expectations, anything short of it will be a disappointment. So we meet someone, feel something but no lighting strikes, we think this girl/guy wasn't "The One™" and we move onto the next one. Then we find ourselves at the age of X thinking how love is just a myth and a load of bullshit. But what if the love was on the way and we were just in too much of a hurry for it to catch us?
I think mostly we are just too impatient. We want the fairytale kind of love and we want it now. We want to feel the rush right away, to get the confirmation this one is the right one. Now I'm not saying it can't happen, just saying you shouldn't hold your breath. Think of it this way: would it really be that bad if you got to know the interesting girl/guy you met and had a fun time with her/him even if it wasn't love after all?
I know they say time is valuable, but at the same time you have to keep in mind that life is not a competition. Getting to know people is (almost) always worth it, whether you found love or not.
So, now that we've agreed to take it easy and see where things go before rushing into the next adventure, we can move onto the elephant in the room...
So what is love?
The eternal question that people keep asking, like it was a thing you can just explain in a simple way. It's like trying to explain sounds to a deaf person or colours to a blind person, how can you describe something that can't be described? People try really hard to come up with an explanation that would allow others to understand it even if they had never been in love. The problem is, I think you really can't.
First of all, love is unique for everyone. Therefore it would be a complete waste of time to come up with a "this is how you know you're in love" guide. All those things do is make people feel bad because their love is not like the guide said.
I see it like this: If you need to ask someone or google it, then it's not love. Once it hits, you'll know. It might not and probably won't be like you thought it would be, but you'll know.
The twist is, if you try to understand with your head, you won't find it. As a mega rational person I can say it's really hard to let go of rationality and follow your heart, but that's what it takes. The leap of faith, the "all in" of life. But like every gambler will tell you, you can't win the jackpot without taking the risk. Yes, it might wreck you but it's still a risk worth taking.
So my answer to the big question. Love is not a lightning strike, more like a dripping rain that makes you wet without you knowing it. It's not something that will make your heart pump like mad and your legs weak. Someday it will just hit you like "damn, I really love this girl/guy".
To me love is the ultimate form of friendship. It's when two people form a bond so strong that nothing external can break it. The kind of friendship where you want to do something just to make the other person happy. And that my friends, is the beauty of love. It's not complicated or hard, it's the most natural thing there is. Don't try to understand it with your head but with your heart.
I'm sorry if you were expecting some kind of huge revelation in the end. But I guess that's just what I wanted to tell with this post. There is no big secret.
Feel free to disagree, just my point of view.
Peace. And love.
-R