Hey there guys, I hope this week treated you well.
The ones who have been following my posts know I like to share things from my own life. Today I thought I'd share something personal once again. It's something most people don't know about me, but has a lot to do with why people think I'm smart.
"I was thinking..."
I love to think about stuff. There's nothing like a good brainstorm or cracking a problem you've been trying to solve for a while. The feeling when thoughts really start flowing in your head is refreshing. As long as the flow stops at some point. This is where it gets hard for me.
I'm not sure if it's a thing, but I'd say I'm a "compulsive thinker". I have a habit of sinking deep into my thoughts and kind of isolating myself from the outside world. I also have a habit of always thinking of something, whether it was making plans for tomorrow or trying to come up with a solution for a problem. It's okay most of the time as I usually get things done and solve a lot of problems as a by-product. I mentioned earlier that people seem to think I'm smart since I usually have an answer ready when someone asks something. What they don't know is that I probably didn't come up with it there and then, the odds are I've been thinking of it earlier.
However, it becomes a problem when it gets "too intensive" and I start getting this dull headache. I've had a condition called "Tension headache" for years and it usually gets worse if I stress a lot. When I really start thinking something I get into a similar mindstate, which in turn gives me a light but very annoying headache that lasts for the rest of the day. Sometimes I remember a problem right before I go to bed, so instead of sleeping I lay in my bed awake for as long as 3-4 hours and try to solve the problem. In the end I either solve it or fall asleep involuntarily.
It almost seems like my mind is addicted to thinking and solving problems all the time. I've never connected the dots but it must be a part of why I have been gravitating towards a career in engineering. It's like a treasure chest of unsolved problems for my addicted mind. I would be okay with this quality, but at times it makes me feel exhausted on the inside.
Finding a cure
As it happens, I like solving problems and this thing definitely categorizes as such a thing. So, I've been trying to find a solution. What a paradox...
Lately I've been trying meditation. I wasn't totally convinced when I read about it, but decided to give it a go. It wasn't easy getting into the right mindset at first, but holy crap it was a weird feeling when I started getting the hang of it.
You know the feeling when you have spent time in a very noisy and loud place and then finally get to a place that's totally quiet? It was like that, but on the inside of my head. All the "noise" was gone, just silence left. Now I still have a lot to learn, but I feel very good so far. We'll see if I can even get rid of the headaches. I don't think I can stop them completely, but maybe get them a bit more rarely.
I guess this experiment of mine just shows a tiny fraction of the amazing capabilities of the human mind. I'm not even sure why I even share this with you guys, maybe I just wanted to share this important discovery with someone. Well, important for me at least. If anyone who suffers from stress or "excessive thinking" like me reads this, I recommend some experimenting with meditation. It might not help at all, but it's worth a try. At least you'll get some time for yourself, which is always valuable.
That's all for today folks. Until next time. Peace. -R