Monogamy seemed weird too me since as long as I could remember. I love chocolate ice cream and I love vanilla ice cream but how can I have only one for the rest of my life? How can I choose just one when there are so many that taste sooooo good?
I suspected that I wasn't after monogamy but when I suggested that to people I started to date, they freaked out. So I had a few "serious" boyfriends in my early years but also a slip up here or there. That's what made me realize that I have a problem delaying gratification and need a lot of freedom in my life. The freedom to flirt, to get excited from meeting someone new and let that moment carry you to a night of uncontrolled passion. Chasing rainbows, just like Rainbowdash.
Lucky for me, I fell strong and hard for Simba (look him up on steemit, I don't know how to tag him yet). Apparently he was in an open relationship before, so when I tried to ge his view on these things he was into it. Together we agreed on a few basic guidelines. Others came and went throughout the years but these are the roots of our open relationship:
- Complete honesty, even if it hurts to hear. We will always discuss this calmly and remember that-
- The most important thing in this is each other . We believe that we wouldn't go hurting each other on purpose. That is why-
- We will always try to balance both our needs, remembering ourselves and each other in the process. Naturally that applies also to-
- Safe sex. Really, 'nough said.
Being bisexual, we started with the classic "I'm not jealous as long as you are only with people from your gender" but a lot have changed since then. My first experience at that was when I went to a girl I met online. I had lots of fun with her but when night came and I couldn't go home to hug him, I realized I prefer having him around. Naturally, our next step was to find a unicorn. These rare amazing women that loves threesomes. Again, delayed gratification hit me. Took too long and I didn't like to wait. We hit the swingers scene for only a short while when I got pregnant and we decided to wait with that. As fate would have it, Facebook was finally getting strong in my country and I found myself in a cool little geek polyamory group. At last, I have found my people! All of them have been so colorful and amazing,- they spoke freely of dealing with challenges in non monogamous relationships, sexuality and gender identification. I couldn't wait to get back in the game but had to wait.
Naturally, it's hard to see everyone all the time, work, raise a child and all that. As an ADD fairy with her feet not even touching the ground, one of the biggest challenges I had to face have been time management. Apparently, the fear of forgetting or double booking partners, thus delaying our encounter in yet another month or two, finally made me organize my life and keep a calendar.
I learned a lot about things I never expected to come from this. Patience, listening to myself, being intimate, opening up and reading not only body language but also the emotional one. We now have a few partners each, of all genders, and we keep making new connections while making time for each other.
