"Think positive"
Is the new buzzword that's sweeping our nations. It's hard getting to grips with this notion because how can you think positive if your cat has just died, or you're facing bankruptcy? Mum just died? No worries, think positive!
I get it, I really do, but I think a lot of people that tout this mindset don't truly practise what they preach. I've had someone in the past tell me how to fix my life out but after a little digging and questioning, hers was a bigger mess than mine. It always makes me wonder, how can you teach people these things when you don't live by the rules you are giving to people? I'm a great believer in leading by example.
I do believe in thinking positive though, and I'll challenge anyone that tries to tell me different. It's just... you can't just tell someone outright to think in a better way than they are now. To realistically change a person’s mindset, you need to do a great amount of work under the surface. It's a tough old job. It can't be remedied in a few weeks, it's something you need to work years at, or at least for me it was. I had a Dad that wished he never had a Son, a Mum that couldn't care less and had barely any good things in my life at the time, how the hell am I going to think anywhere nearly positive? Fuck off with your bullshit, matey.
For me, it's more than just a smiley face. To most people a smile can be faked to hide the emptiness that lays beneath the surface. A happy compliment can be received without knowing the giver didn't mean a word of it. Positivity can be just as deceptive as helpful. On my journey, I'd often want to be like whoever was teaching me at the time but I'd no doubt find out that in some way they weren't as perfect as they said they were. Which is fine, but everything I do it's by example. If I wasn't telling you the truth about my experiences then I may as well be telling you a story of my time on Mars. Neither are the truth.
Can it be achieved though?
Yes, it can, but it's probably not what you think. A lot of people think that 'being positive' is just smiling when things are crap. Well, it's not. When things are not going my way I rarely smile. That's the truth of it, but I'd like to think of myself as a positive thinker. I like to think of positive thinking as mostly acceptance and problem solving.
Acceptance
Sometimes you just have to accept that things are the way that they are, you know? In my negative days, I'd really get bogged down with life and why it would always take a massive turd on me. I hated it. I had never done anything massively wrong in my life, why should I get a medical diagnosis, be locked up for 6 months and spend three years of my life recuperating? Why me? Can't it just happen to the nasty people that didn't live by some good moral code? However, If I had just 'accepted' that this was my life now and I had to look at ways to survive in a different mindset then I would be a lot further along in my learning than I am now. Alas, what I went through was tough, I wouldn't expect anyone to just 'accept' it right away. Takes time to heal.
After accepting the way life was for me, and that 'shit' happens on occasion and without reason, some easily solvable, some bad, and some horrendous, like now, being given a month to find a new house at a time when renting is at an all-time high and everyone and their dog wants a 3-bedroomed house. I could sit here and cry foul, and get really angry at the situation that I'm in, get drunk and cry about it to my friends, or, I could just get on with looking at a way to solve the situation that we've found ourselves in.
Sometimes you just have to accept that life is dreadfully unfair and that people can be complete arseholes at times, no? And no matter how much I cry, or bitch or whine about it, or try to manipulate the situation to my end will go about changing that. So, rather than that I tend to focus on how to make it better. Not make it go away, but make it better. Think about planting pretty flowers in a post-apocalyptic world. I can't change the way it is but I'm trying to make it better. We love this house, we've been here nearly 10 years, we're more settled than we've ever been, but our landlords are moving in no matter what. So, we found another house. Simple as that!
That's all it is. Acceptance of the way things are and trying to better your own experience with it. It's not a constantly smiling, all in your face happiness thing, it's making good out of a bad situation. I've seen some homeless people happier in their mindset than some people I know with large houses and several cars. It's all about perception! Promise :)
Hope you enjoyed this!