Perhaps four years ago I'd have been proud to call myself a Feminist. Oh boy did I get angry inside when I overheard men complaining about how shit life was and the rules that were stacked up against them. I was a man that witnessed my wife go through Miscarriage. I watched slowly, as my beautiful and bubbly wife turned into an almost empty vessel. I had experienced post-natal depression brought on by a difficult pregnancy; both were almost intolerable life events, and both gifted us with PTSD. Let's be clear, PTSD is not something that 'only' happens with war veterans it can befall anyone that has struggled through a very traumatic experience. For us it had been the birth of our Son, my wife having to be rushed into surgery, and me, left there to worry if I was going to be on my own again. When I heard men grumble I had a fair idea of how easy we had it.

When I started writing

It wasn't until I started truly writing, challenging the depths of my soul and reaching out to other scarred people to hear their stories that I began to realise that life wasn't as black and white as it may seem. I was going to take on a whackload of new information and learn the cruelty of society from a different perspective. Yes, women have it bad, but men equally have it as bad. I'd rather call what I'm talking about, ‘new wave Feminism’ because it's a type that I clearly do not identify with; I'm more of an old school Feminist. I believe that men and women should be equal in the sense that if a woman wants to be a labourer then absolutely, and if a man wants to be a homemaker then that should be fine.

There are clear anti-men undertones in this society. If you do not think so then challenge yourself to shout in a busy public place either "Men are all pigs" or "Women are all pigs" and ask yourself which one would seem easier to do? Clearly none should be easier, but I know the answer already. You do not need to tell me. This is where I want to talk about 'Gender Studies' in College, and let me tell you that this isn't only exclusive to the United States, oh yes, that course has come to our shores too. I'm not one to judge, I'm really not. What I don't understand at all is the planned route of work after that? A computer scientist may go into programming, a business major may go into management, and a gender studies person follows the path into....? I'm not judging, I am asking because I don't understand. I am also very aware of the emphasis on the plight of women over the centuries, contrasted with the dominance of men. It's good to know your history, it really is, but it's not good to slink into a victim mentality. Women are powerful, they should feel that. Not constantly think men feel dominant, because we have our own struggles to contend with. There are no men groups that meet on a Sunday night, rubbing our hands together with watery mouths as we plot to assert our control over women the following week. I wish people would stop thinking like that.

Not a gender thing!

The obvious issue is this. It is clearly not a gender thing and we should stop thinking in this division mindset. Look at the swathes of men that are going to classes to be taught 'how to be men' and similarly then vast hordes of women taking advice from women that teach them 'how to be women' when all we really should be concentrating on is how to be comfortable in who we are, together. There is, and never has been, a quick fix. No amount of formulas to have him love you forever, or psychological tricks to bed every woman you please will help you, or me. The answer is within yourself. New wave Feminism is divisory at its core. I had a really nice young lady, who is a friend, a few days ago, tell me that what I was describing was just "angry men-hating women that have been burned and have ran away with their own bastardized version of Feminism" but I really fear that she is underestimating this movement through her own subjective bubble. We all have those; I like to poke about a bit but I am aware that I do still have my own bubble. I've heard women on TV call a man giving her a pleasing gaze a 'mini rape' and thus my faith in humanity went down a notch.

And then I came across The Red Pill

I haven't seen the documentary yet but I have watched a lot of debates about the video; basically, it solidifies a lot of what I have experienced through life but shrugged off as just my issues. Apparently, there has been a lot of controversy towards this film, but I ask, why is it so bad to talk about the problems that men face? After all, we are human too. I am no anti-women activist but I really feel that to have a debate, both opinions need to be on the table. We can't just hear from one side and not the other. I am no fan of division and we are clearly becoming divided.

Next in the evolutionary chain

Perhaps the next leap in evolution for humans is when we stop viewing things as us versus them? It's a very old-style way of communication, held back from the days when we lived in small communities around in our caves. We weren't designed to think in thousands, never mind gender as a whole; yet we have somehow managed it. Perhaps next we can get rid of the ideas that divide us and speak of ourselves as 'human'? That's a long way off, though. I understand that. When I open up myself to talk about the hardest times personally, as a man, on my magazine, it is still women that speak to me for their men. I do wonder, though, if that's not a man thing but more so a society that shuns men from opening up. Who knows?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Men, women, feminists, men’s rights activists, aliens? You name it, I want to hear from you!

Thanks for reading.