Hey all. Me again.
I'm seeing lots of commenters encouraging others to write forward thinking articles rather than one-liners and paste bins. It's becoming more apparent to me that people want an in-depth discussion as well as highly informative stuff.
So Today I'm going to do what I do best and that's write about the human condition, our perspective on life and our general outlook. It's what I'm best at. It's what I do. I'm going to try and make you think. Question your outlook, or perhaps even your role in life. And perhaps how to change it. If you're ready.
Ready?
Ok, let's go.
I'd like you to sit there for a moment and recall some stress that's currently in your life. It could be anything, from family problems to some arsehole that's annoying you on the internet. Anything at all. But it needs to be causing you at least some grief or internal turmoil.
Before I changed my life there were always stressors in there that I didn't properly know how to deal with them, which caused those stressors to impact my life negatively. I'm hopefully going to show you how to filter these and help you work with yourself, rather than against.
Thought of something? Good.
Now ask yourself this question about your problem. How much control do you have over it?
- Full control?
- Partial Control?
- No control?
I ask this because, at the base of it, stress is pretty much all about how much control we have over our lives. For instance, I would get really upset when my dad was acting a twat to me and I couldn't control how he behaved towards me.
Let's break it down, shall we?
Full Control
Think of your stressful situation. Do you have full control over it? Are you getting stressed about a bill you haven't paid but all you need to do is phone up and ask for a payment plan, or explain your circumstances? Full control over a situation is when we can act upon it and take action to sort it to remove the stress. It can also be something HUGE like you want to go self-employed but don't know if you can live financially for the first year.
I'm going to ask you now. Why haven't you done that shit already? Why haven't you picked up that phone? Why haven't you researched how easy it is to survive in your niche for the first year? Why haven't you talked to other people that have done the same? Why haven't you taken control of that situation? Let me tell you this. The world isn't going to get up for you and give you a pat on the back for thinking about it. I realised this late on in life, sadly, and no matter how many re-runs of Futurama I watched it still solved nothing. If you want to make waves you have to stand up and be counted. Own your situation.
Partial Control
Ok, so we probably have a difficult situation here. You have partial control over the situation. Part of the control lays with you, the other part lays with others. A good example would be me 10 years ago trying to rebuild broken bridges with my family over the years of excess drink, drugs and other stuff. I had partial control in the fact that I was making steps to build bridges but the other part of the control lay with them, are they willing to forgive me?
A great saying I once heard one of my colleagues say was: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink it. Which is in essence, partial control.
And with partial control you need to let go of full control. So perhaps accepting that you have done your bit and the rest is up to them, right? I mean you don't own mind control machines - so there's no way you can dictate how they think or act, right? Just, let go. Leave the responsibility with them. And, as much as it hurts to have a family member not forgive you - that is a decision they have made, and again, you have no control over it. As I said. You have done your bit.
I will say time is a great healer, though.
But this can be applied to virtually anything with partial control. I learned this during my Management years at work. On certain days I'd have to leave my staff to work on their own, and, as much as I wanted to be there watching over them with my beady eye I had to let them take ownership of their duties and not feel as if I was watching them 24/7. I had trained them very, very well - there's nothing else I could do.
Let go of the situations that are outwith your control.
Which leads me on to:
No control
Dude. Why is this even bothering you? You have literally zero control over the situation. Why let it bother you? Why not just find something shiny and go tinker with that for a while until something comes back your way. A great example is when I've seen posts on STEEMIT bitching about the nonsense posts they've seen that have attracted loads of money.
Waste
Of
Fucking
Time.
The time it took you to write that post - you could have been writing your own groundbreaking post. But instead, you accomplished nothing and filled the world with that little bit more hate. Why not just accept that people do some things that you don't understand, and never will and leave them to it? If you're angry that they make more money than you - why don't you watch how they do it and hop on that trend? If it's against your morals - then just move along and get on with life. Life is FAR too short to waste time on things you just can't control.
And like everything else it can be attributed to anything - arguments on the internet, news articles, photos, people, anything.
If you have no control. Forget it. And do something else more constructive with your time.
A great lesson from life would be to learn acceptance. Accept that there are things you have no say in and prioritise something better to do with your time. Like being awesome.
I hope this helps
And I hope you enjoyed this :)
Feel free to discuss below :)