We're very good at lying ourself: it's called Bullshitting.
I've been writing in the past that bullshitting can be the end of you if you are not careful, cause lack of self-awareness is akin to a phoned in life (yeah, I'm with Socrates on this one!). But I think that's a skill that can come in handy too. I've first heard of this concept from a buddy that was incredibly good at getting what he wanted out of life.
Just because there's a negative association to the word doesn't mean is ALL BAD. The reality is that in this world where you are being compared to everyone, every time you need a bit of bullshit bubble around yourself or else you might just crack. I feel this all the time. No matter what I think about myself, no matter what I do, outside my bubble I am just another one. There are always people who do it better, have it better, live better and they are so often close.
I always remember this quote when I'm feeling down about all this:
Maybe it used to be that movie stars or royalties had the kind of life you might envy but your neighbors and friends and - that's annoying but - acquaintances had a life that was OK. Sure, some did better but like, it's OK. Right now, even that guy you met once and follow on some social media might do some shit that will get you thinking that you are just not doing enough. And to all this I want to say: FUCK THAT.
This is all inevitable today but we have shields against all this insanity.
We can chose to say that "no" we are not below someone just because we don't have those clothes. That we do not smell like THAT, that we are not that handsome.
We can chose to like ourselves despite the fact that we may be wicked and stupid and at times just mean...while everyone around us seems to be oh, so generous and good.
I think it's a really beautiful concept to bullshit for wellness. Think about it:
You KNOW you are not THE best yet..
You THINK you are THE best.
Entertaining these two notions in the same time is what bullshit yourself is all about.
You go to a job interview and you must know that you have this. Sure, that guy has a CV that is fatter than yours but you must believe that you got this or else, why go at all?
You approach that beautiful brunette in the bar and you know, she'll like you cause you're funny and handsome and smell like a star. But you also kind of know you are not THE anything and in the end, you're maybe just an OK guy.
I'm sure there are feminine examples because for women is even harder and the constant comparations are punishing and pressures are mind-blowing for a guy.
Bullshit yourself and thrive.
Extreme realism is good when you grow. You want to have a certain humility about yourself or else you stop pushing. But when it's time to do something, there's no reason to self-doubt. Creating this shield that can act at once, is a skill.
I think it's called Confidence.