My Father passed away this morning. It was a long time coming. He had been sick with Parkinson's and dementia for several years. A slow decline over the last few years made me intimately aware of how he was doing physically. I knew a few days ago, that it was time and have known for a while that it was coming.
Today and the last few days have been particularly hard on my mother and brother and sisters. It has been hard for me, but as I have been with him for the last two years helping to take care of him I have slowly come to grips with it. Knowing that this would be a relief for him has made it a relief for me.
Belief
I am not really a religious person. I find wisdom in many ancient religious texts, but could not be really categorized into any of them as I often find wisdom in the symbology that is taken literally by many. It is not because of religion or belief, but because of experience and a deep knowing that I say that death is not the end. I know many people see this as a belief that we use to comfort ourselves and that may often be the case. I don't think this is the case with me. I only want the truth.
To believe something because it is comfortable seems a despicable thing to do as far as I can see. For many years I was an atheist and nothing seemed more clear to me. Only over time and reflection and many experiences and testing of theories and ways of being have I come felt that I have come closer to the truth about life and death. Like everything else in this polar physical reality, we must know one to know the other, even though in the deeper reality, the two are a way of measuring and understanding the one thing.
Thank You
He was many things to many people. To me, he was a father, a teacher, a confidant, a comforter in the hardest times, a motivator when needed the most, and a friend in the truest sense of the word. He showed me so much. His guidance, patience, and love for me are a blessing and a gift that I cannot fathom ever being deserving of.