Mothers usually tend to deal with ego much more easier. Many fathers have difficulties to confront ego, to benefit their family. I had the same problem. I think it is, because our society pushes us that man have to make money, money is the key to happiness, you have to make a career, to give a better future for your kid. I have been full-time dad for 3 months now, and in this short period of time I realized that it is incorrect.
Many parents tend to buy expensive things from his first days. I have many friends who buy their kids expensive toys, and then after a few days they don’t play with it anymore. Parents don’t understand what happens and buy more expensive toys for him. And the circle goes on and on. The same with the gadgets. Buying new phone's and pads. Eventually, you will have a kid, who is disappointed with an x-box for Christmas. You probably saw a lot of videos on this article.
Why then I am buying all those expensive stuff for my kid if there will be this outcome? Because, there is your ego, who thinks - “How other people will see me” You should destroy this though and you will become happy as you have never been before. This is not only advice for parenting, but for the most of life situations. Just ask yourself- “why should I worry about what other people think of me” This questions might sound stupid, and probably you have heard it many times, but it really works if you truly ask yourself and try to give an honest answer. If you would give yourself an honest answer it would be -“There is no point in it”. For me it was the biggest game changer. Now I was able to reconstruct my mind.
My ego was bigger than Everest. For me, it was very important, how others will see it. Most of my choices in life was made, based on this though. And well I was in a constant race for more appreciation. I had happy moments in my life, but when I stayed alone I had many thoughts of how my life was unhappy. The moment when I started to realize I have to change, was the moment when I started totally new life. This change in the ego, changed my life for 180 degree. Now I understood, that only value I have in life is appreciation of my family. And my biggest accomplishments are the things my son have learned.
From my point of view, the best thing you can give to your child is the time and knowledge you have. Your kid doesn’t need all those expensive things you can buy him. Giving your kid knowledge and skills, he will be much better prepared for life, and he will be able to earn those expensive things himself. Teach him how to love, how to appreciate things, how to be happy about events that happen in life, how to act in different situations and so on. This to me is biggest thing you can give to your child.
Change the way you think, and you will see your family like the main reason to live. It will make your days full of happiness, as they will do silly stuff and will be happy about it. So why not to be happy also. If you cancel the concern of what others would think, it opens so many doors for you. For example, your kid is learning, as he don’t know many things in life. Remember, you are many years ahead of him. Teach him those things. In reality it is very fun and exited process, to see your kid learn new things.
At the end I can only advice one thing. Remember, that what will be good for you, will not always be good for your family. You are part of the small community called family. Think about what is good for your family and not only for you. Many times I have heard that if my family will have more money they will have a happier life. That is only partially true. Your family will be happy when you will be around. Don’t run for the money. Of course you need it, and you have to earn it, but just don’t use all your time and energy on getting money. Spend some time with your family, they will never forget it.
Bonus: I have seen in my kid, that he doesn’t really like toys, he likes the stuff we use at home like, spoons, dishes, bowls, TV consoles and all other stuff you have at home. From my view, it is because, he sees that we use those things, and want to do the same. Our kid is copying our behavior. So he will tend to copy a lot of things we do in life.
To be continued…...
Just click on link below to read other posts of this blog:
How to be a super-dad #3 (Things I understood after few weeks, being full-time dad)
How to be a super-dad #4 (Kurts first try on the pot!! Hilarious)