2018 is just a few hours away and waiting to be welcomed. So before I close this year's chapter in my life, I looked back to remember how it was one last time before I start with a new one.

The first few pages was definitely a surprise for me and maybe for someone else too. (But let's not talk about that person.) The other pages on the other hand, were full of struggles, troubles, and "I don't know what to do anymore" phrases. Crumpled pages, torn and cut raggedly. It was as though I had to work hard to finish my clinical cases while keeping my depression under control and my growing feelings at bay. There were even more personal and family challenges this year too.

Interspersed with those pages, though, were colorful and bright notes. This year, I was able to visit a lot more places. I trekked mountains and dived seas. I met and socialized with different people. And just enjoying the sceneries nature provided.

Some may say "Life's a b****" or "Life is cruel", but it's actually the decisions we make that fuels are life and the actions we take that bring forth more opportunities and choices to our life. How our lives would be depends on our performance.

Regrets and Mistakes. Another note that had been filling my year. I regret not having enough confidence in myself; not having enough dedication & strength; not even able to say & do what I really want to. But there are no rewind buttons or erase buttons in life and no time machines either. There's nothing more I can do.

So these regrets and mistakes are now lessons of the present for a better future.

So let's drop those regrets, those mistakes, those unending "if only's" and let us build a better tomorrow, a better version of ourselves and hope that one day we would say "I'm glad those mistakes helped me grow up".

Also, forget about making new years resolutions if all the other past resolutions didn't work. You're just going to dwell on it again for not having able to fulfill it... again.