Man’s love and Santa Claus: do either of them exist?

I am puzzled with something many construe to be obvious and insanely stupid to query about:

Is Man capable of love?

This article is some of my thoughts on the subject, little biased, I guess, nevertheless here they are.

Are men built to love? Let me put it other way – can a MAN love? I am excluding the women deliberately because we all know they can. My discussion in this article is confined to Man/Male.

Being a man (selfish – that goes without saying for most of us) myself, I always wondered, can Man love? Really love, selflessly?

Is he biologically built for such an emotion?

Or does he just pretend to play his part to fit into the society and gain the reputation as a good husband, great father that he so eagerly desires?

I believe women are driven by emotions while men are driven by ego.

While woman are trying to BE with someone, most Men are trying to DO someone or something.

Do not read those lines verbatim.

Emotion is always about to BE with, while ego is always about doing something to prove its worth. It logically shows us why woman want to belong, be and ‘being with’; while man strives to do, possess and keep.

Many will be offended by above comments and I have to say here that these statements are not an attempt to generalize the gender behavior; on the contrary, they are derived from the numerous observations from everyday life.

When a man feels overwhelmed by the emotion that he terms as love, he is most likely experiencing a feeling associated with this person who suits his needs perfectly and the premise that this person would compliment his choices.

Once such a premise is built, Man will go to any length to get that girl.

What man does to get what he ‘chooses’ is what the media romanticizes as love.

This is why many movies show ‘The End’ as soon as the guy gets the girl. Is it not ironic that 9 out of 10 movies show guy getting the girl and yet we don’t get the hint?

Even the most romanticized symbol of Love, Taj Mahal, is a graveyard which has buried the fact that Shah Jahan was advised that his beloved is too weak to get pregnant – and yet she was pregnant about fourteen times before she died of health causes.

No one gives us these details when they talk about the great lengths that Man goes to show his love.

It also tells us more about the curious observation we all have seen in movies and in real life where a father abandons the child who is a threat for the ‘family name’ he inherited while mother can never do that, whatever the kid does, she just cannot abandon.

Father can fore-go his child if he/she is a threat to his social stature while a woman can fore-go any social stature to claim her loved ones - it is not a choice for her – it is love.

These examples serve as proof to solidify my need to question.

This is also why it is so difficult for a Man to comprehend why a simple hug or spending quality time gives woman so much satisfaction than when we buy them stuff.

If there is nothing to ‘show’ off Man cannot understand the use of effort at all.

To be with someone, spending quality time, certainly does not entail ‘showing off’ as much as showing up.

Once a Man gets the person and feels that he made the right choice, a man will go on to spend majority of his life maintaining and doing things to justify his choice.

If in future he thinks that he has traded his efforts for something inferior, he starts looking around.

He may not want to disturb the social stature that he has worked so hard for and that’s why he goes side ways to fulfill his desires on both levels – social and personal.

As the years pass, social aspect will be dominating his choices than personal aspect. This juncture is a danger zone for those in the family because this Man will go to any length to protect his social stature, honor killings are one of the extreme example of this behavior.

Yet there is another type of man who bottles up his frustration of having spent life in pursuits that did not satisfy his ego and he turns hostile, drunkard, frustrated husband, careless father or a combination thereof.

This all brings us back to the basic structure of the mind of a Man and Woman.

Man is driven by his ego while woman by emotions.

If a woman starts an affair – 8 out of 10 times it would be for an emotional need and other two times it would be physical need filled with passion (which is again partly emotional).

While a man can go pay a prostitute to get his need fulfilled without a feeling of remorse or guilt, women will hesitate such avenues as it lacks the emotional charge that they so deeply desire, unconscious of that fact they may be.

This is not to say that Man is emotionless but it is always about what dominates us.

Woman have ego but they are driven by emotions. Men have emotions but they are driven by ego.

This one insight into the way our minds work turns everything black and white.

We suddenly realize why woman behaves in a certain way while man behaves in another – and what to expect.

This takes us back to our title and you may wondering What has Man’s love to do with Santa Claus?

One thing: they only exist as much as we believe them to. It is comfortable to believe that Santa Claus exists but impossible to prove; it is impossible to prove that man loves but comfortable to believe that he does.

Opinion. Not an advice.
Picture source: pixabay.com

I write about Money (specifically Crypto related), Life and Psychology related topics. I have won the Psychology Topic contest conducted by Hive account@krnel and one of my ICO Review Series article was among the MOST shared article on social media.