Yeah it's a cliché but I'll say it: Being a mother is probably one of the most magical things in the world. Our moms are just beyond awesome and believe it or not, they actually go through a lot while you don't really notice anything!
- Pooping during childbirth is pretty common. Yeah, it happens. It's a shitty deal.
- Functioning on literally no sleep every day is actually possible. Not just functioning, but keeping another another human alive.
- Doing things with one hand is one of your best skills.
You become a master at holding a baby, making a bottle, unloading the dishwasher, and talking on the phone all at the same time. - After you deliver the baby, you deliver the placenta.
"Here's your beautiful baby and here's your beautiful placenta!" But the placenta is not beautiful. It looks like an uncooked pot roast. - Being puked and pooped on are daily occurrences.
- Your vagina isn't forever ruined after vaginal childbirth. It shrinks back.
- Silence is always, ALWAYS suspicious.
- Your baby "bump" doesn't automatically shrink up after the baby comes out. You don't SUDDENLY have a flat stomach after birth!
- You'll use Google to research what’s wrong with your kid a minimum of 10 times per day.
- Here's no such thing as a "mom" wardrobe. "Mom jeans" are whatever jeans you choose to wear that day, but it's usually sweatpants.
- It actually takes like three to five days for your breast milk to come in after giving birth; you don't automatically produce it.
But when it does come in, and you wait too long to pump or nurse, your boobs are worse than a leaky faucet. - One shoe is ALWAYS missing. And it's ALWAYS when you're running late.
- You don't know any new movies or actors, but you can ramble off every single cartoon show, theme song, and character.
