Everyone has a story!
I've always been one to reflect on the world around me and live in my own mind a lot of the time. I use public transportation to travel to work in an attempt to save some money and in doing so I naturally cross paths with many strangers on a daily basis. Often times I find myself wondering if each passerby had an autobiography what story would they tell.
It may be easy to dismiss the people that briefly enter our lives, but it's truly eye opening once you consider that their lives are just as complex as our own. While we may never learn the intricate details that makeup who they are it should be human nature to acknowledge their existence whether that be with a smile, pleasant greeting, or simple head nod.
A short story with an important lesson.
For about three years I lived in Downtown Phoenix, which has a descent homeless population scattered throughout the city. It was common to pass a few people living on the streets as you walked around moving from point A to B.
Being the observant person I am I started to watch the natural reaction of the pedestrians as they walked by the individuals who were usually asking for money or a bite to eat. Unsurprisingly, the common response was for the pedestrians to pretend they didn't see the homeless individual and ignore their request as they walked by.
This observation immediately changed how I interacted with these individuals as I made it a point to look them in the eye and provide a genuine response just to let them know they are visible. You may laugh and think that is somewhat silly, but I can't think of many things worse than feeling invisible in a very crowded world.
This theory was reinforced once when I pulled up to a red-light where there was a pedestrian crosswalk occupied by and elderly homeless woman. She proceeded to walk halfway across the road and then turned around to face all of the cars with a blank expression on her face.
She stood there for the entire duration of the crosswalk signal leading my girlfriend to ask the question "what is she doing"? I explained to her that I believe the woman wanted to force everyone to recognize her existence for a short moment by becoming a small disruption in their lives before moving out of the way and eventually becoming an afterthought.
Urban Dictionary: Sonder
This leads to one of my favorite words I have come across as it perfectly describes the complexity of everyone and their own unique reality as they see it. I share with you the following word:
Sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.