I guess it had to happen eventually. In fact, those who know me well might say it's actually quite surprising that I made it to the ripe old age of 25, without obtaining any criminal convictions. I'm not saying I'm some sort of hardened criminal. Far from it. I wouldn't say I've ever really done anything "that bad", but we all do silly things when we're young and we all make poor decisions when we're intoxicated, don't we? Well, I will admit that I have probably spent a bit more of my life intoxicated than your average 25 year old. Where I'm from, the grey City of Aberdeen, Scotland, it's perfectly normal to start going out and getting drunk with your friends every weekend when your around 12 to 13 years of age. As I'm sure it is in the rest of the UK. So yes, I may have broken a few laws in my time, petty little things really. Fighting, vandalism, low level drug possession, the usual you'd expect from a rebellious teenager, full of booze, bursting with testosterone and trying to be cool around his mates, whilst simultaneously trying to impress girls (a lot to deal with for a young lad!). That's my excuse for my teenage years anyway. The truth is, really, I was quite a troubled young man, but that's a story for another time. My point is, I have always seemed to manage to wriggle my way out of situations in which I have found myself sat opposite a police officer giving a statement, or in the dock of the Sheriff Court facing charges. Which is probably the reason I feel so annoyed that I was found guilty of something on this occasion - because I don't feel like I've actually done anything wrong!
The story goes like this....
I was walking through Aberdeen City Centre with my now, ex girlfriend, earlier this year. We had been out clothes shopping in town, then been round a few bars for drinks. We were on our way back to my place when we bumped into a guy called Sean, who I had spoken to a few times before at my local corner shop, as he lives in the same area of town as me, a tenant of the notorious Jute Street to be precise. I stay not far from there. He was wheeling along what looked like quite an expensive mountain bike. "Smart bike" I said, knowing there was a relatively high chance the bike was stolen. Not necessarily by him, but there was a good chance he, or one of his acquaintances, had not bought it legally from its owner. I wasn't going to ask questions though. I didn't really care to be honest. It wasn't my bike. If some unlucky fucker had got their bike nicked, well, "nae luck" would be the expression I would have used. I mean it's a shame on the person who got their bike stolen but it obviously wasn't secure enough to stop someone taking off with it. I myself had a bike stolen from my flat at the start of the year along with an acoustic and an electric guitar. It sucked! My 2 main hobbies out the window, just like that! Or the door actually in this case. I went out late at night and accidentally left my door unlocked. Some opportunistic burglar must have been trying door handles and at my expense, got lucky! There must have only been the one guy (or gal) two tops, as they left my laptop and TV which I'm pretty certain wasn't out of courtesy. It must have been a snatch, grab and run kinda deal and they obviously had their already hands full of my stuff! Anyways my point is I accept the whole thing as my own fault for going out and leaving my door unlocked. I'm not saying I wouldn't have taken my 9 iron to their asses if I had caught them in the act! But it was stupid and careless on my part and I've learned from it. Which is why I really didn't really care where Sean had got the bike from that was in his possession. It was none of my business.
We started walking in which the direction we both called home together. Sean also had a gorgeous light brown Staffy pup with him, it couldn't have been much more than a few months old. I probably asked how old she was, but like I said, I was a few pints deep at this point.
Sean, my girlfriend and I were taking turns wheeling the bike and walking the pup. Looking back now, handling a bike that I had a suspicion could have been acquired illegally, maybe wasn't my best judgement but I'll blame the booze for that one too. It didn't even enter my mind I was doing anything wrong and to be honest I don't think it would have made a difference even if I was sober, because in my opinion. I DID NOTHING WRONG.
About 10 minutes into our walk, you guessed it, a police car pulls up in front of us and asks us to stop. It being my luck, I was currently in possession of the damn bike at this time. 2 coppers get out. "We've had a report of a stolen mountain bike that matches the description of that one" He looks at me. I immediately look at Sean with a "For fuck sake Sean you twat" kind of expression on my face, whatever that looks like.
"I found it next to some bins, thought it was getting chucked out and was there for the taking" Sean says.
Its a bit hazy what happened next to be honest. It all happened so fast. 2 coppers came over and told me I was under arrest for theft. I made a fuss, tried to explain I didn't take the bike, wouldn't let them put the handcuffs on. I knew fine what getting arrested at a weekend entailed. I wasn't sitting in a fucking cell for 2 days for doing nothing wrong! My girlfriend made a fuss, Sean started shouting it was him who took the bike. The police called for backup. Within minutes there were 4 police cars at the scene. 2 of them went up to Sean to try to arrest him but he kicked off, went mental when they tried to take his dog, lashing out, arms flying. One officer got popped in the face. 2 female officers went over and tried to arrest my girlfriend who also started kicking off and ended up punching one of them in the stomach. A few more minutes pass and now there are 5 police cars and 2 vans at the scene, all for us, and I hadn't even been given a proper chance to explain the situation. The next thing I know I was slammed to the ground by 2 officers, landing on my wrist and spraining it badly and shredding up my knees and elbows. A lovely member of the public who obviously thought he was some sort of hero decided to help the countless members Police Scotland who were now all the scene of this awful crime I had apparently committed. This hero helped to hold me down until I "Calmed down", while I was attempted repetitively, to explain that I hadn't done anything wrong! At this point I lost it at one of the officers. A lanky prick with a real attitude problem. I don't remember exactly what I said to him but I'm sure I was very verbally abusive Eventually I was in cuffs and thrown in the back of a police van, Sean was hogtied and carried by 4 officers into the back of another police van and my girlfriend was being dragged into a police car.
What the actual fuck!? So I now had to spend the rest of my weekend in a fucking cell! All pretty much for bumping into the wrong person...How fun! That was the last time I saw Sean and my girlfriend until we were standing in the dock together on Monday. We were taken to the Kittybruister cells, I was told I was being charged with 2 offences. Theft and something I had never heard of - Police and Fire Reform (Scotland) Act 2012 S90(2)(A).... which I actually had to go online and research (once I was released from custody obviously) to find out what the hell it was. This is what I found....
Police and Fire Reform (Scotland) Act 2012
90Assaulting or impeding police
(1)It is an offence for a person to assault—
(a)a person (“A”) acting in a capacity mentioned in subsection (3), or
(b)a person assisting A while A is acting in such capacity.
(2)It is an offence for a person to resist, obstruct or hinder—
(a)a person (“A”) acting in a capacity mentioned in subsection (3), or
(b)a person assisting A while A is acting in such capacity.
(3)The capacities are—
(a)that of a constable,
(b)that of a member of police staff,
(c)that of a member of a relevant police force when such memberis executing a warrant or is otherwise acting in Scotland by virtue of any enactment conferring powers on the member in Scotland,
(d)that of a person who—
(i)is a member of an international joint investigation team that is led by a person acting in a capacity mentioned in paragraph (a) or (c), and
(ii)is carrying out functions as a member of that team.
(4)A person who is guilty of an offence under subsection (1) or(2) is liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a period not exceeding 12 months or to a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum, or to both.
(5)A complaint may include a charge that is framed so as to comprise (in a combined form) the specification of both an offence under subsection (1) and an offence under subsection (2).
(6)Where a charge in a complaint is so framed the charge is to be regarded as being a single yet cumulative charge.
(7)In this section and section 91, a reference to a member of a relevant police force is a reference to a member of—
(a)a police force maintained under section 2 of the Police Act 1996 (c.16),
(b)the metropolitan police force,
(c)the City of London police force, or
(d)the Police Service of Northern Ireland.
So apparently I was "resisting obstructing or hindering" the police while they tried to arrest me, and I don't deny it. I just didn't fancy my weekend being ruined and being locked up for something I hadn't even done!
So there you go. Lucky me. 4 white walls and a shitty blue mattress for me to stare at for a couple of long ass days. This is when I became quite thankful to be a bit on the boozy side as I managed to sleep a fair bit. I must have been in a right state because I was too intoxicated to even give a statement!
Early Monday morning I was woken up, put back in handcuffs and loaded onto the white G4S security van in which they transport all the naughty criminals to court. It must have been a busy weekend for Aberdeen's time wasting police force as there were 3 or 4 of the big lorry looking ones that must hold about 20 people each. All in our own wee locked boxes, quarter of the size of your average toilet cubicle. I wondered what number of people had been lifted for stupid little things like I had. When we arrived at the holding cells at Aberdeen Sheriff Court it became apparent that that number was quite large! When I was first flung in my cell there were 4 or 5 others there already. Mostly young guys. About an hour or so later the cell had around 10 men in it. A few had been arrested for small scale drug possession, a few for assaults, a few domestic cases nothing too serious, so our theory was we had all been put in together as we were all getting out on bail... that wasn't the case. A few boys got sent up to Peterhead Prison but only for a week or 2.
The holding cells aren't too bad, at least you get people to speak to. One by one we were called out to speak to our solicitors who would be defending us. When I was called out I was told that Sean had already told his solicitor he was going to plead guilty to the theft of the bike and I would probably be getting released on bail. "Thank fuck" I thought. "That'll be it over with then. They're not really gonna charge me for resisting arrest for something I quite clearly shouldn't have even been arrested for in the first place, surely!? Having injuries all over my body and spending half my weekend in custody for nothing is bad enough!"
Eventually my name was called and Sean my girlfriend and I were out back in handcuffs and lead up to the court dock. My girlfriend and I were released on bail, and Sean was sent off to Prison for a warrant he had out for something else. The Intermediate Diet was set for the 11th of September, and the trial date for the 9th of October.
I made an appeal for legal aid which was accepted. Over the next few months I was required to attend appointments with my solicitor. I got a letter in the post saying that my solicitor had now received the CCTV of the incident. When I went in I was shown a 15 minute long recording of pretty much fuck all. It was the scene of the arrest but apart from seeing all the police vehicles show up, everything else was out of shot. My solicitor tells me there isn't anything on the tapes incriminating me at all. I expected the police to have also sent CCTV from earlier in the day. Maybe me and my girlfriend meeting up with Sean, or even Sean stealing the bike!? As I knew for a fact both those events would be on camera due to where they took place. But no, just a tape of the arrest scene. I asked my solicitor if he could request the tapes from earlier in the day and he said he would try, but he would probably get told no, because apparently CCTV footage gets destroyed after a month. Convenient eh?
The 3 of us turn up at court on September the 11th 2017 (at least I got an easy date to remember). Sean, myself and my ex were eventually called up to the dock. The Sheriff dealt with me there and then. Dropping the theft charge but charging me with resisting arrest and handing me a £225 fine... Sean got charged with the theft of the bike and assaulting a police officer and got 200 hours of community service... and my ex got told she had to attend the trial alone. I do not know or care what the outcome of the trial was.
So that's my story....
I now have a criminal record.... for resisting an arrest.... for the theft of a bike.... I didn't steal.
FUCK THE SYSTEM.