the text in this section is posted un-edited for anything but layout since it was typed, it portrays the thoughts and the mood at the moment of writing, i will not censor myself for your convenience
03:29 ...
i should get some work done on logosvg so i can use the api to render grafix by the auto when needed but ... pff its 3:28 im tired again already, at this rate i get nothing done, this means up early again, braindead all day waiting for evening then a two hour window to do something while i'm alive. Hellhole, black hole, swamp. I barely get through my replies, i dont get on musing, i dont get on minds, during daytime i get on nothing but my ass and hell keeps me from living at night, its fucking sabotage.
11:18 ...
woke up at almost ... ofcourse the houseghost had another plan, made me run for the trash cos i didnt put it out last morning ... good thing its a dead-end street cos those guys go FAST. So ... friday huh ? mandatory party ? drunk ? laid ? next week checkup at the doctor scared of that disease ? pppf i'll pass, how about "NOTHING" today, nothing sounds fine unless the lottery the lottery sounds better but i dont have a ticket so how about NOTHING ? todays menu is "see whats left and do something with it", i hope i can fall asleep at six right until midnight in one streak, wake rested, get something done, until then im gonna sit on my ass, there's too much light. People already sitting outside on the front lawn, like YOOO, kid (they're old enough to call ME kid, heh, grand social relativity) forgot to put it out huh ? "Yeeaaaa, in my trainers with my t-shirt inside out, superColumbo the just out of bed version" just like 'old' ... there's an internal division down that street but you know how people go in social housing projects like these, they keep to themselves or there's trouble. Tsch
somehow reminds me of that icecube movie, with the BIG guy, bit without the weed (for me at least, i cant speak for everyone here)
so THAT is why my cat kept waking me up without wanting to go outside or eat ... i know all about attributing but its uncanny after years ... just like the frequency at which i get harassed here or things break from lying on the shelf
agh, well, precious, if i'm to do ANYTHING the rest of the month then today there be no spending even copperpieces, mate, so dont push it
14:02 ...
try to do some comments , i'm too fucking dead to even grind some dark souls while braindead ... i guess i cant avoid eating so i might as well prep it so i dont lose time when its sleepytime .. how long until winter and the nights are long and all this bullshit rains away ? 40 days and 40 nights , right ? i remember, i spent until my 16th in catholic schools like that, well, dearies
i dont think your god is listening, the other one does its best to BURN away the sins of the world ... much to no avail while creating others ... you're ALL full of shit arent you ? born and living on tv ...
oh well, dearie , i don't HAVE a baby-kid ... and from the looks of it it will be ragnarok because i won't get out of here WITH my cat ... i don't WANT to live here, hell, i wouldn't even BE here if it wasn't for the likes of yours abusing powers ... i spoke up, i almost feel like i get the blame from the old scared bats, and the kind who would hide in packs behind a badge and a gun, BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST AS SCARED AND USELESS
my kid won't have to grow up in this shyte , i'll never have one either, i'll never fall for that again
15:00 ...
that again .. yea that again ...
for a moment the skies turned grey, i was almost hoping i could do some weeding while it rains, but no luck in hell
that again ? YEA, THAT AGAIN
always the same repeated, no one seems to get what its like in my head to be trapped in a place that keeps my head stuck in a loop for YEARS, YEARS and YEARS, every day the same shit, repeating , repeating, no way out, nothing here for me.
My cat DIES in my lap CHOKING ... all i have left in the world i care about ... nothing i can do, couldnt have paid for an operation if she would have shown and not come purring til the last fucking hour, even then i wouldnt have had the money. No use calling the vet, by the time that one got there for the proverbial shot she would have been dead, she choked RIGHT THERE in my lap, fighting til the last breath
this hellhole took everything, gave nothing but what they think it is how its done
vendetta is forever
every day the same old shit
every day the same old shit
every day the same old shit
IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER HERE , but you know that from the start didnt you ? what fucking idiot in his right mind would ever think i could fit in a shithole like this?
... hm ... freezers almost empty, i should go for canned tuna and canned ravioli for another week, that way i got SOMETHING left to get out of here for a day or two ... by day ... or two
with a smile ofcourse, always with a smile ... scary ? really ? i told you i have plans and they havent changed in 10 years ... but yea, its the only thing that scares me : the idea that i lose it before i get out of here and everything was for nothing. Have more meat? where did that come frome ?
Sure, do you have more money ? then i can have more meat, but i'll first use it trying to get out of here, THEN i can have more meat
15:39 ...
a few good comments and replies take the pressure off, five to ten minutes of uncorking that brain and escaping into the answer ... it DOES help a lot ... people here think i look down cos we have nothing in common to talk about (mostly) ... but i feel most of them look down on me because i dont believe in christian suffering by the sweat of my brow, most of my family died of horrible diseases, i WAS working , for the employer lobby .. then life fucked me and i was on the street ... then i got up , then it fucked me again, i shouldnt say life , i should say FLANDERS, BELGIUM, FUCKING FLEMISH YOKELS ... and some inbreeds and immigrants too (but i cant say that or im racist so i'll only complain about the white fuckers who fucked me) ... and since then im stuck here, and no matter what, no matter what i say or do, five or ten minutes later
the place dominates my mind ... i have one cat left
ONE ... all i give a SHIT about in the whole fucking world
so yea ... internet addiction huh ? cos i dont like talking about footy ? and i dont know how to fix a car ?
right ....
talk to the hand then
just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE WITH YOUR FLATLANDS
03:32 ...
didnt sleep much, but slept well ...
there's cake
and there's tea ... ceylon, with quarter lump of sugar ... cant claim much credit for the texture and the fluffy since its made with some prefab flour i found in the closed, can only credit for the taste ... all the posts set well before 2 am, even if i didnt have one for the main account but whipped it up in under 30 minutes thanks to 
but its night, ofcourse i'm not bad at night i'm a moonchild
a LUNA-tic
mosquitos are annoying but its the only way to get some air in the house, as i went for the catwalk i noticed ... up until a few years ago i wouldnt have bothered closing the doors
i fell asleep with the front and back door wide open ... hell when my hardass buddy was still on the prowl and restless he once picked me up on the road as he passed by, got into a fight with the misses ... came home three days later .... (with the misses too, lol, they made up) ... my doors wide open for three days ... all A - OKAY
i wouldnt give it a thought then, but since youtube gangsters turn out to have more clout than retired people (lets not call them scared old bats) i dont even leave the door unlocked to go to the store or for a catwalk ... not cos i'm scared they'll do something to me ... cos i dont trust them to not steal shit ... i mean, where does a 14 year old kid get lorazepam ? did mommy give that to keep them calm ?
so no, its NOT BETTER, things dont get better here
i would, i leave the doors wide open at night, to get air in, i mean, finding someone in my living room at 3am would be VERY therapeutic in self-defense, im sure of that
god DAM mosquitos ...
04:19 ...
god dam ... cold callcenter tactics ... or plain high ... or a combo ... i think my haggling skill just increased to closer to what it used to be as if my name was Hunrrey the Hungrey
06:44 ...
see ? i'm still up, for some reason today, im NOT tired, im still up, i cut some rosary scrubbed some weed, bustled it all up and out ... by 6am its already a bit cleaner, if i could do this every day, the garden would be like england, Queens ... but NO, you HAVE to do it FROM rising chickens till dusk, not the other way around, well that doesnt work for me , dearie, its nearly seven and im already melting, its gonna be blazing hot, i have to make sure all the outdoor stuff is done before noon or even a yo-vampire like me would burn up like that
the neighbours already left ... does that mean we get another episode of the gang of B.L.O.razepam today ? i hope not but frankly my dear ... its not really my problem, as everybody says here, until its their turn HAH HAH , cant believe theres actually a cop living in that street ... and probably ME, the ex-con who gets the evil eye and visor
07:47 ...
ai kozou ... bringing up mister B. like that, like you KNOW him or something (i doubt that, maybe a guy who knows a guy who knows his brother) ... used to be a daily client ... cos i had the best shit at the best price, thats why, drove around, helped with the logistics if i was out ... never had words ... but its possible, right ? anything's possible and you got the whole wrong angle right. I totally know everything that fucker did ... i mean ... he was a daily, right ?
Could knock me out just with the wind of one fist i assume, think he used to box, right ? did serious hard time, scarface shit, REAL scarface shit, right ? like literally, right ?
so , if i sit in the middle of your little junglebuddy calling friends for an hour WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO HIT ME, this would be the solution, one-punch man ... me on disability, you never allowed to come back here LOL
you dont GET THIS DO YOU ? i dont DO scared ... its one of my biggest issues ... i SHOULD sometimes DO scared but i dont, i got so many beatings ... its whatever
i gave a few too ... thats not really a solution, thats why i keep saying , never threaten me unless you're gonna do it NOW
that was a stupid idea, no idea who came up with it, id take it head on and my purpose would be served, and sadly and old friend included in YOUR scheme
so im gonna take that as my wild imagination whispering in my ear like "he doesnt shout anymore" and stuff
and forget about it
11:48 .... rose from the funghal void ... it happens when it happens i guess ... probably 20 years since lol
22:13 ...
its been trying very hard to keep me wakey during "their" hours again so i'm feel like in the Truman show
again ... its not even dark yet ... leave out the last week , safe to say my yearly birthday crisis where i totally dont wanna know i lost another year of life to this hellhole took about the same turns as it would. Safe to say if anyone there or there or there would wanna hurt me id at least have a broken jaw or black eye today. But's enough about safety. Safe to say there's no talking about other people
in a public letter to the blockchain. Doesnt matter who or what they are. From perfect daddy to tennex worse than ive ever been and everything in between ? Its private
Safe to say im totally like now what ? Two posts full of ME last two so i think it can use a filler-upper, my own vote is not nearly sustainable so its gonna be a way still. Turn on the laundry. Folks are coming back for the summer, gonna have to share the place, three people in three different biorythms on a towel sized patch of house and land ... way too old to live with each other but no real choice. Its been worse though, i think we all got tired of the conflict. Its not like i chose, its like it was the only choice left.
Yea so they can have a fresh bed with fresh sheets, how considerate of me, right?
Get a cup of tea, i havent had coffee in a month with all the bs ... my birthday zone counts as super-bs usually because i simply dont wanna, i dont wanna another year of life here but a birthday, or new-year/xmas period is almost inevitable proof of that.
check the mail ... 20.000 newsletters ... spam ... 1 from my pen-gal in vietnam ... STILL NO FLIXXO INVITE ... ??!??
AHEM ...
STILL
no flixxo invitepfff .... what's the point of de-centralized free stuff if they wont let you in ?
yea, patience, ive had years of patience and i'm stuck here ...
oh soulcalibur ? oh ... teasers ... well gud dont have money for it anyway
and then ?
20 minutes til voting time hm ? best get the next three for the raffle-upvotes ... i need to get this done from one account through delegation but i seriously need to keep it separated for security until someone comes up with a safer way than simply one password you cant recover ... bonus/malus ... they don't have it, so they cant be subpoenad to give it (git it ? git it? thats a GOOD thing actually, even if you're not a criminal you still might be considered one since
CRYPTO
woooo !)
so the only person to have it is you ... but that makes for serious risks, dont you agree ?
i feel it makes for serious risks but i cant think of something imminent or i would be marking it all over their saviours of the world channel ... well yea ... its what it sounds like really, no?
im sure they believe, but like all rich people they likely lack as much empathy with the down-below as warren buffett lacks with them (if i may repeat myself on something i said earlier last week-)
now is that any day to get a fucking sore throat ? of all the days, i can feel it creeping up my ear GODS DAM
14 out of 33 (barring own and support-botvotes) with root posts under 7 days (gotta since otherwise its a lost vote, right?) ... have to run the script twice, lag ... timeouts ... i guess it would be easy to catch to simply re-run it if there's any error message at all returned, should be easy enough, one for the 2do-list, i think i scrapped a bit of that before i went into the birthdayzone
its a hassle voting on it from three accounts trying to make sure its 3 votes of at least 0.02 ... but i have 10SP delegation floating ... which happened because it happens on account creation with steempy by default and if the account is under 30 days, it will take until its 30 days to return, which is now part of the manual in my head, delegation would be better, i can vote from one, and still keep whatever is in the others safe from the loss of a password of any of the others ... imagine being a whale and thinking like that (i bet i wouldnt take 500sp as a treshold if i had millions though)
but as i am chaos i have to take it as i make it, despite the best intentions i comes when it comes
ah (and this, before i forget) ... who is number 24 today ?
https://stackoverflow.com/questions/6022384/bash-tool-to-get-nth-line-from-a-file
celeroncat@CEREBRO ~/Documents/steemUX/ubasti $ sed '24q;d' ubasti_paidpost_eligible
@steemerpara
celeroncat@CEREBRO ~/Documents/steemUX/ubasti $
that's definitely gonna have to be part of that one, isnt linux shell script a beautiful language now ? oh well
might be slow and my chaotic way but every bit i get working is a bit and a half i never have to do again myself isnt it ?
but i think thats something for a catHUB post
did someone just say "how much money you make?"
would i be living HERE if i made money ? dont GO THERE, it makes my skin itch the moment you start about it, im damaged, i WILL NOT FIT IN YOUR OFFICE OR YOUR TEAM OR CREW, thats never gonna work again, i have to do this , for and by ME first, thats the only way ... dont go there, i heard it SO MUCH i immediately get an averse reaction due to the fact that it usually comes with manipulation , if you still dont believe im damaged goods ? then you havent been reading
oh dear, i think i found JUST the holiday destination for you lot there : check it out below in the justreads section (of which i havent done much, for obvious reasons)
NON, je ne veux pas écrire mon histoire, its private , it personnal, its parts you dont WANNA know or maybe someone else , it involves people and its NONE of YOUR business
its a short story too, i used to be a REAL REAL REAL nice kid and guy for most of my life forget about that too, not here for your entertainment, to do a little monkey dance or to roll over for a cookie
00:01 ...
i guess that makes it
just a cat-ku to finish ?
*yes i spend a modicum of time on this, but thats okay
i got nothing better to do
but if you think i'll work for you because you make me
you're a foo*
that's never gonna work again, too late, you wrecked me, i wont fit
well its not hai- , so that will have to do
hmz , "justreads" could use an editor ... guess i'll have to script me one
hm hm hm, awfully considerate of your houseghosts to wake me up two hours early while barely letting me sleep, alas that means im already beat by midnight now, its like i have a millstone hanging from a chain around my neck at the moment
yea thats about how it feels ... as for the summer season lineup, i see the line-up, trailers, the opinions ...
HAVE YOU NO SHAME ANYMORE , WTF IS UP WITH THAT CRUD ? from here it looks like all super-cheap shounen-harime and midskoolernight-dreams for former fans of one direction (im sure they still have an incarnation at the moment, they had one since bros and the backstreet boys) .... have you lost your mind, your honour, or did all your designers move to Tencent ? how can you expect that to sell ... and then change the constitution because piracy is ruining the industry ?
REALLY ?
nevermind, im probably being negative again ... well there's a re-make of Baki , i see ... that should be something
tscha well ... ofcourse im not a hischool kid but whos got the money to pay ? well ofcourse not me, but from where you stand ? love is hard for otaku ... but they got the money, dont they ? its 2018, i dont think this ancient american business model of making the client believe what they want is what you're selling is very effective anymore. Neither is brownnosers and yay-sayers who don't care bout quality but promotion and bonuses, that said, i wouldnt work for you
(i keep saying that, right ? why would i keep saying that, its like something traumatized me
years ago)
well there's Gintama, fairly oddball ... piano mori could probably barely fill a niche but fairly decent i hear ... the thing about the middle management looks kinda funny ... its not like i got a free pass here, right ? its looks like 95% crapps, like an appstore
GUD, before i go all dark and gloomy again, that should be a post (and a half)
? internshAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, slave labour ? i thought they abolished that
just because i can go around town for a day doesnt mean i can stand to be around humans
all the fucking time, IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE, ITS FUCKED, YOU FUCKED THAT, I DONT CARE BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT IS, SEE ? you pushed me to talk again ... now i got bruises
told you i had to stop a paragraph ago
o yess well ...
https://myanimelist.net/anime/35994/Satsuriku_no_Tenshi
https://myanimelist.net/anime/37208/Mo_Dao_Zu_Shi?q=dao%20zu%20shi
https://myanimelist.net/anime/36649/Banana_Fish
with an honourable mention for https://myanimelist.net/anime/37338/Chuukan_Kanriroku_Tonegawa?q=chuukan
a hopeful mention for https://myanimelist.net/anime/34134/One_Punch_Man_2
and a scared mention for https://myanimelist.net/anime/36474/Sword_Art_Online__Alicization because the poster alone looks like one of those after-the-twentieth fate zero spinoffs ...
give me a free pass, i'll thoroughly review them all :) but keep in mind : i think dragonball and pokemon is ultra-shyte
(i dont need to mention one piece and gintama and all that i suppose, or any of them longer living ones, or REMAKES ... yang wen li and baki and what not ... why dont you remake alucard ? or black lagoon ? or ... did that huh ? damn ... jormungand?)
o well ... its about the best i can do at the moment waiting for 2 am, to crash, to wake up early and to sit waiting for evening hoping the night brings a bit of solace : clicking some internet
hah .. cat took me out for an extra long walk ... its cool outside now, i'm hoping it rains for the rest of the month ... that would be helpful ... houseghost tells me ive been served and im like
i havent played tennis since i was nine ... i cant remember registering for a game or ordering a side of fries so ... O !
it's like someone stuck in the 80s would say ... something from that retard ashton cunter series, what was that ? jack margera ? like movies where the protagonist starts every sentence with "beavis" and ends it with "twerp" or one of those words no one outside of the 80s would EVER admit having used (just like the hairdos)
is that it ? i have been "served" ? "punked" ??
How so ? roofies or WHAT, did slip me a mickey ? what kind of fundamentally challenged person would do that in 2018 ? no one i know really ... trying to make me paranoid again huh ? no need, its been quiet here for almost two weeks, im already edgy waiting for some bunch of retard pack rats to fuck up the place again
leave it, its no use, i'll never like it here
im gonna take out the trash, make my four posts, and then fall asleep because i was up too early
to wake up to a day thats already worthless until its dark
all that complaining ... yea
i doubt that will ever get better here
NOTHING is sacred, YOU have the right to question
everything
people who are receiving daily votes thanks to yours truly
shares will be given from different accounts now as i try to balance it between my vault-alts ... who double as distros or they would just be sitting there ofcourse, but always taken from 
i have to thank 
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find #steembasicincome at
, they will reply on the feed but better on the discord
not sure if all those are still correct, i'll check it some time, but im sure you can find their feed if need be ... the rules ? blablabla, first of all i give away what i give away so i dont think there's anything to debate but first goes random from the top voters at the moment of 10X, if all top voters have had one within one month then it goes random from then 1000+ followers, MIND YOU : ONLY NON STALE ACCOUNTS, NON BOT ACCOUNTS AND NO ACCOUNTS THAT ONLY RE-STEEM or it would be a waste, so yea, there's two people who have two, they happen to be top-voters on my account, why would that be unfair ? and even if it is ... you're free to refuse a share if you get one, i dont get paid to diplomat
i have a small idea on how to give to people who already received a share if they come up but i have to test that first
(image from https://www.innovationtoronto.com/ )
i will ofcourse check the account before i send, if it's a 'stale' account then putting sbi bots on it to vote is 100% pointless
i think we can all agree on that ?
there we are, see you at 330 (im not sure i'm keepin track here i send the sbi way before because i keep the messages for content, open book, hyperthread, THINK MORE, work less unless its for yourself, symbiosis is the key to nature)
i know its caligula, dude, but how does that rhyme with cat?
thanks for your patience
and kind consideration
owh .. by the way ->
i do not ask for anything in return nor will i refuse anything that doesn't come with strings attached, if anyone for any reason doesn't want their share , they can always give it back, it's all in the faq, since this is the internet i assume you know what that is, and where to find it
it's easy to be magnanimous and enlightened when you're pockets are ALREADY FAT
last but not least :
/n/n07/11/2018 11:49:47 pm/n/nand ofcourse, another "market leader" (in opionons that is, and not half shabby too in the wallet department afaik). I prefer no "whats next scenarios" but a proper analysis of whats happening is always welcome. So if i wrote a 200 word articlee from all of this on why steem will make you rich , will you get me a 4000 dollar post ?
well im sorry, i didnt have too much time to read this week, i was otherwise occupied so just a few links with a bit of opinion and you still get ten times the text for me no money. How does this thing work actually? /n/nhttps://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-07-08/after-crypto-booms-busts-and-crackdowns-what-next-quicktake /n/n
/n/n07/11/2018 11:46:19 pm/n/nmore ? cos im sure its old news to a lot here and its not crud on how steemit will be bitcoin by autumn either but its serious news from serious sources about seriously filthy rich people
https://www.forbes.com/sites/billybambrough/2018/07/09/new-paper-reveals-massive-bitcoin-backing/
/n/n07/11/2018 11:43:58 pm/n/nbut if that's not enough then how about this ? See these people are not going to disrupt by the next Vitalik 2.0, theyre going to start up EXCHANGES , that doesnt need further explanation i hope ? as to what that means THESE people believe ?/n/nhttps://bitcoinmagazine.com/articles/swiss-stock-exchange-operator-plans-launch-crypto-exchange/ /n/n
/n/n07/11/2018 11:42:11 pm/n/nwell its like nobody ANYWHERE has any doubt and keeps seeing "bullish" signals but here's a few who should put some weight in the opinion scale/n/nhttps://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/06/winklevoss-stays-bullish-on-bitcoin-hires-nyse-cio-to-gemini.html /n/n
/n/n07/11/2018 11:10:25 pm/n/njust what i needed
if you really have all that money and a total hollow head go THERE instead of bugging people
you might find someone to inspire you
hell, make it a vacation, take the missus, take the kids, take the fucking nanny and your mistress
im sure there will be a lot of filosophy too
there always is with people who think they're on a TED-stage
dont attack me on my hashtags/n/nhttps://2018.distributed.com/ /n/n
/n/n07/07/2018 07:01:13 am/n/nwhat do you mean "now" ?
me : https://steemit.com/introduction/@rudyardcatling/signature-post-20180501
if there is any questions regarding the accounts :
so, as per the good advice of 
i'll use the tags from now #ulog , #steemgigs , #teardrops (i like that one) , #untalented ( im not allowed to say that but i fear i cant claim that 100% , i'd prefer #demotivated but why not )